Me and Wee

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

One cool idea

Diaper Cake, but more!
Hi friends! I didn't take pictures at my baby shower, but my friends and family did. As I await those photos, I thought I'd show you this cool gift before I take it apart. My amazing friend Sue (who threw me the shower with my Mom) made it. It's a cake of diapers, but has more than that in it. In addition to diapers, it's made of onesies, washcloths, and the like all rolled up! It also holds sets of those little baby mitts to protect their face from getting scratched. There are loads of baby hair bow clips, puppets, car seat toys, teething toys, soft books...the list goes on and on! It's been so fun to look at and discover new things. My husband and I will both be sad to take it apart! So, I wanted to make sure to document it here with a photo. She placed the "cake" on a tin platter and all the elements are tied to a wooden rod that goes up the middle. There are decorative ribbons wrapped around each layer that hide the little ties. She added the toys as the "frosting" last and voila! A shower cake! Thanks Sue! We LOVE it!

Monday, March 30, 2009

35 weeks

35 Weeks
Hi friends!
Here's a picture of me taken on Sunday, March 29th just before my baby shower. Check out that belly! It's definitely starting to take over, and that's just fine by me. I'll be sure to tell you more about the amazing shower given to me soon, I want to make sure I have a few photos to be able to show you of a few details. I can say, I'm so lucky to have such great family and friends to come all the way out on a crappy rainy day...many driving a few hours...just to be there to celebrate. It really meant the world to me. Words can't express how thankful and touched I am. Everyone was too generous and Little P. now has everything she needs to take the world be storm (or by poop) when she gets here. She's a lucky lady!
I had an ultrasound and Group B strep test on Friday. I'm negative for Group B so far, so that's good! That means I won't have to take antibiotics before Little P. comes along. The ultrasound showed her moving all around looking good! They estimated that she's just over 5.5 lbs. and her fluid levels are in the perfect range. I could see her little face and her mouth yawning and moving. We watched her tongue flick around as she stuffed her fist in her mouth...Nom Nom Nom!!!! Her measurements were great and she's still bigger for her dates, so we are very grateful for that. 5 more weeks until her due-date! 35 days to be exact, and the reality is becoming more and more vivid each day. We're happy all is well for now and it won't be long...I make sure to send my thanks out into the universe every day. My measly thanks just won't ever be enough though.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Missing in action

My ankles disappeared yesterday. I think they went to Aruba for a nice vacation and I'm extremely jealous. I don't blame them, what with all the cold weather. I hope they come back soon, though. It's awfully awkward around here without them. Maybe they'll send me a postcard?

Monday, March 23, 2009

34 Weeks

34 Weeks
Hi friends!
Phew! I'm relieved and excited to hit 34 weeks! It's been a longtime milestone in my head and it's finally here. In my new observations: I'm noticing my weight gain a lot more now. Not just during my breathless waddles from room to room, but I can see it in the progression of photos here. My face is now showing the traditional widening that pregnancy can give. It's so unfamiliar to see yourself looking so different from one day to the next. It's new territory...it's not that I'm upset about my weight gain per se, especially since it's so worth it and for a wonderful reason, I guess it's just more of a symbol of another thing I can't be in control of. I like to have control and a plan. And nothing about anything that has to do with pregnancy in general involves control OR a plan (at least in my case!). On one hand (the biggest hand) I feel proud of my body...it's worked so hard to bring this gift to life. On the other, smaller, hand I feel a bit insecure of my new shell as I get to know it. I'm also scientifically fascinated by all that has taken place with it, but that's something else entirely. I know that my body will forever be different after Little P makes her appearance, so I suppose it is the end of one version of me and the beginning of another. I think back to my collegiate days of drinking, flirting, studying and having fun...a different (much tinier) body and time...and I realize that time goes by so quickly while priorities change just as fast. Now, there are so many other things that I enjoy that take up my days and I'm reminded that I need to focus on the fruits of each day because tomorrow it will be gone and in the past. Tomorrow will find me in a newer version of myself, and whether my body is the same or not does not matter to me as much as whether or not I will KNOW myself and like myself just as much. Will I be a better person tomorrow? I would love to always try and be able to say "yes." There is a lot to learn as I move forward and Little P. is certainly ready to teach me a thing or two.

Friday, March 20, 2009

It's Getting Interesting

kitchen towel
Hi friends!
First, I wanted to show you this cool kitchen towel I found at Anthropologie, here. It's all embroidered and I would never actually use it in the kitchen for fear of getting it dirty. I loved the colors and the design, so it is now draped over the back of the rocking chair in the nursery so it can be enjoyed. I love finding random little things I like and trying to find an alternate use for them if I don't want them to get dirty or ruined. :)
Onto my story. Let me first say this: Everything is fine and great. Little P is just fine as am I and all is ducky.
So, on Wednesday night I awoke at around 2:00 am (as per usual) with Braxton Hicks contractions here and there. No biggie since it's almost every night that this happens. I was in a sleepy fog and just ignored them. Well, by 3:00 I kept waking up and noticed that there seemed to be a pattern happening...and...hey!...OUCH!...they started to hurt. Like a gripping menstrual cramp. That's when my eyes popped open and I owlishly started staring at my watch. When I realized there seemed to be 10 minute intervals in between I woke my husband up to tell him about it and I tiptoed out of the room with my pillow. I wanted to go lay on the couch where there was plenty of light so I could focus on the task at hand without bothering Chris. Of course, I knew he'd be concerned and likely unable to get back to sleep...but I also knew better than to NOT tell him. I had 2 more painful contractions that lasted 1 minute each and were 10 minutes apart. I got lost in a show I'd recorded by then and realized I hadn't had any more for a half an hour. They disappeared completely soon after that. Phew! I had my non-stress test later that day, so I knew to mention the episode then.
Later in the day, at the hospital for my NST, I told the nurse of my ordeal as she strapped me up to the monitors. The baby seemed to be doing just fine and she asked me a few routine questions and all went great. She came back in about 40 minutes later and said "you know, the contractions could also be from a bladder infection or kidney infection...some blood and protein were found in your urine." What? I hadn't felt any symptoms of those things, so I was confused. I got really nervous and told her about my genetic disorder, Nail Patella Syndrome, and how there's a risk of renal complications for someone like me especially during pregnancy. She left the room and came back with a vial and drew some blood as they'd decided to check my kidney function thoroughly. She told me that they wouldn't let me leave until the lab came back with the results. I also had to give another urine sample. In the end, the results came back normal, but with trace amounts of blood in the urine and no protein. The doctor looked concerned but said it could have come from the contractions the night before and he told me to try and not worry. But they'd keep an eye on it going forward. He also recommended I see a Nephrologist after my pregnancy (a kidney specialist). So, it's on the list of doctors to see once this is all over. (I need to see an Orthopedist for my horrible hip tendonitis issues as well). And I won't even go into detail about the root canal I'm supposed to have as soon as possible after delivery. *SIGH*
Anyhoo, I'm now chugging water and keeping my feet up. The doctor said he would consider letting the contractions go and let things happen if I was 34 weeks or past but it's still a little too soon. This surprised me. And he said ideally he'd like me to hold on for another 4 weeks at least. I want to get Little P as fully grown in there as possible so I'm doing what I can to stay relaxed and am taking it as easy as possible. But this is certainly starting to get interesting!!! It's notable that my Mom gave birth to my older brother during her 34th week. (her water had broken) That is next week for me. That makes everything seem all the more real and imminent! I should note my brother had a nice birth weight and was jaundiced but otherwise was ok. He went home after a few days in the incubator. This helps me with my worry as I hope to not have a baby born sick and struggling. So, that's the latest story...The End. All is well and now I am sucking down a chocolate milkshake with wild abandon as my after-lunch treat. Every good story needs a happy little ending, right?

Monday, March 16, 2009

33 Weeks

33 Weeks
Hi friends!
Well, I'm headed off soon for my next NST (non-stress test). I'm sure all will be well since Little P has been rockin' and rollin'. No more little pokes and prods...she's into fully moving around in there with every little body part. It feels like she alternates between boxing and gymnastics. All inside a balloon. It's fun to watch my stomach make odd shapes as it conforms to her newest stretch. Some new observations this week include: 1. my wedding ring sadly will not fit all the way on my finger. But my engagement ring still works. I'd wondered when this would happen and now I have my answer. 2. My toes are starting to swell by the end of the day. I'd also wondered when this would start. The other day my feet looked purplish, so I just put them up and that did the trick. No purple feet since. But little sausage toes are appearing much more often. 3. I'm officially waddling and groaning with every move. I groan when I get out of a chair, out of bed, out of the car...pretty much whenever I have to disembark something. I also follow that up with a heaving sigh of relief when I sit anywhere and settle down. (IN a chair, IN bed, IN a car, etc.) The same goes for conquering a flight of stairs; sweat beading on my brow...it's as if I'd climbed the Matterhorn and must be rewarded. Instead, I let out a heaving sigh and waddle on my way. I guess it makes sense when you are basically carrying a cinder-block strapped to the front of you. A cute and snuggly cinder block that loves her Dad's voice. She's going to continue to get heavier and I will gratefully heave a million or trillion sighs of relief and groans of pain if it means she will get here safely.

Monday, March 9, 2009

32 Weeks

Hi friends!
Today marks 32 weeks for us, and I celebrated by having my first non-stress test today. The procedure seems pretty simple where I go into Labor & Delivery and they put me in a room. They use these belts to strap on my belly and we listen to the baby's heartbeat and match it against any movement or contractions. I guess the time to do this goes anywhere from 20 minutes to one hour. I had some apple juice while I lounged on the bed and watched TV that I didn't pay much attention to because I liked hearing Little P's heartbeat for so long. But it's scary when it starts to slow down (normal) and then speed way up. It took some getting used to. After some time, they sent me on my way (after peeing in a cup for them per usual!) Sidenote: I've gotten so good at peeing in cups. I guess practice makes perfect. Maybe by next winter I'll be able write my name in the snow.
The interesting tidbit from today: I go in for this test twice per week EVERY week. Not every 2 weeks. I go every week now until she's born, and this replaces most all future doctor appointments since I'll be so closely monitored. So, I'm pretty much done with the visits to my OB's office and all will take place at Labor & Delivery (luckily all my doctors are on call there at some point or another so it doesn't really make a difference). The other tidbit is that the doctor I spoke with today said they were "worried for now" but are being proactive and feel good about things. He said they currently look great. He said they will be less worried when I get to 34-35 weeks or so. So that's only 2-3 more weeks. The impression I got is they are mostly worried about the 2 vessel cord but also have some worry about my going into preterm labor because of the T-shaped uterus issue. Once I hit 34 weeks I'm in a much better position to have a healthy baby if preterm labor happens. But, they deal with this sort of thing all the time. It's unsettling, yes, but I also know there is nothing I can really do except rest and take it easy. Things will be just fine. Right?

Friday, March 6, 2009

59 Days

Hi friends! I officially have less than 60 days until my due date. 59 today to be exact. Holy crap! Time is now starting to fly away from me at lightning speed and there's nothing to be done about it. We went to our childbirth class on Wednesday night and were blessed to get to view a video about the stages of labor and got to watch 3 different ladies push their babies out. Needless to say I felt the need for a Whiskey and a Vicodin after seeing that shit. Don't worry, I didn't partake in either. I actually never have. But I had a nice dream about it later and that made all the difference. In other bits, I've now got the "organ crowding" happening in full force, so after I eat a small meal my lung capacity shrinks to the size of a chestnut. In class the other night we were learning about a few different breathing techniques for labor...we had to practice along with the teacher during fake contractions. Well, I about passed out thanks to the dinner I had before arriving. Which would have been handy if it'd happened since we watched the video of terror right after that. Poor Chris seemed most disturbed by the placenta delivery...they didn't show it, but they DID show a nurse bring the woman her placenta via a tray. So she could get a good look at it. This didn't bother me, but Chris thought the scene was eerily close to a waiter in a restaurant showing you the meat selection before it is cooked and he was quite put out. I have to agree, it DID look like she was offering to cook it up... but I was still too busy hallucinating from the terrors I'd just seen to worry much about a little slab of placenta. All in all, a good class and learning was had by all. Of course, I saw movies of childbirth in 7th-grade health class...movies that were much more graphic and detailed. But I think I'd blocked them out...my own Silence of the Lambs issue. To see it all again...well...I was able to handle it better this time and that's not saying much. And it's not that I'm worried about going through that. It's the least of my worries after what we've gone through to get where we are. It's seeing OTHERS go through it that horrified me. So, as long as I stay away from delivery rooms and other pregnant women's dilated cervixes I should be good to go.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Updated T-Shape Bits

Hi friends, just wanted to quickly note that I've added an update to my "T-shaped uterus" post from earlier in this blog with information my OB has told me along the journey of this pregnancy. It brought me a lot of comfort early on and I thought I would share what he told me here. If you are interested, you can find the post here.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Rug

Shag in Nursery

Hi friends!

Well, we finally got an area rug in the nursery. I'd mentioned a while ago while we were planning the room that we were going to use this rug.

Well, after being back-ordered for several months it finally came in. (You can get it here.)
It was gorgeous in person, but it was very thin. I wouldn't call it a rug. I'd call it a mat. Or a tapestry. I'd pictured it to be more thick like a carpet-type of thing. So, I was concerned about the constant slipping and sliding that would happen on it even with a rug pad. I don't want to trip on it while holding Little P, that's for sure! My other issue: it had too much going on. The colors in the rug are all used in the nursery, so it matched. But it was just TOO MUCH. Once in the room my eye had no idea where to look because there were patterns all over the place. I'm a believer that a room should have one major focal point (and maybe 2 if they work together) but no more than that. If the room were simpler in color and pattern, it would have allowed for the rug to be a hero and it would have worked. Anyway, we sadly returned it to the store and we picked up THIS 3 x 5 foot shag rug at Crate and Barrel. It was my original plan to use a white shag rug way back when I started the whole process of planning, so I didn't have to get used to the idea. I'm thrilled with how it looks in the space and how it feels on the feet! Even with a rug pad below it was cheaper than the other rug. I now feel the room is as ready as it will ever be for Little P. Even Maren the Wonder Dog is a fan...she sinks in so deep when she's walking on it...right up to her belly. My feet disappear into it. I'd never do a rug bigger than the 3 x 5 foot in a shag; it's a lot of lint and it's such a particular look. So there ends the thrilling tale of the rug saga. I have to find some other small silly thing to obsess over now. Happy Tuesday!

A shag rug
Nursery with Shag

Sunday, March 1, 2009

31 weeks

31 weeks
Hi friends!
Happy Monday! We are in the midst of a fun snowstorm here and are due for up to 16 inches of snow. Wee! That's sarcasm there folks. But, it's ok; I expect snow. It's still winter after all. I always assume there will be snow until April...that way, if it melts and stays gone I can be pleasantly surprised. We're now at 31 weeks and feeling good! Chris took these photos of me over the weekend before we went out to run errands. I couldn't resist making cheesy faces in some of them like the one below where I'm talking to Little P. like she can see me. You never know, she COULD have x-ray vision. She IS our little super-hero miracle after all. I used to joke with my former co-worker Anna that if I ever had a kid I'd name him/her "Greatest American Hero" (joking about the over-the-top weird names some people give their kids.) Do you remember that show? It was an American tv show that aired from 1981-1983 and has re-runs all the time. It showcased the theme song "Believe it or Not"...which I sing to the baby frequently, but Chris does not know this. I'll be showering and belting out "Believe it or Not IIIII'm walkin' on aiiiirr, I never thought I could feel so freeeeeeeeee! Flying away on a wing and a prayer!!!! Whoooooo could it beeeeee? Believe it or not...it's just meeeeee!"
Anyway, the idea of naming my kid Greatest American Hero always cracked me up. I dreamed of yelling the name on the playground or in the home in scolding, like "Greatest American Hero...Eat Your Peas!!!!! or when their name would be announced at graduation. People would say: That must be some great kid!
I'm joking of course, and yes, you had to be there to get the comedic effect. Please don't mock the pregnant lady.

31 Weeks kitch

Friday, February 27, 2009

Just an update

Flowering bush
Hi friends!
I'm pleased to tell you that Little P's ultrasound and checkup went great yesterday! She is sizing a week ahead and is in the 85th percentile for her measurements, so she's still growing great! They listened to her heart rate while she wriggled around and we heard the beat go from the mid 150s to the mid 180s after all her action. They told me it was just what they wanted to hear. The ultrasound was something! Now that she's so big it's hard to tell what I'm seeing on the screen. We can only usually see one body part at a time and it takes me a bit to understand what I'm looking at! At one point, we saw Little Ps face (and her leg/foot in front of it!). How flexible! I could see the chubby skin around the bones of her face and could kind of make out what she looks like (sort of). I noticed right away that I thought she looks like Chris and has his facial structure. It fascinated and humbled me to breathlessness. It was one of those moments where time stops around you. heavy. Another issue: I head to labor & delivery in 2 weeks where I will start my non-stress test routine...I'll go twice per week every two weeks. For anyone not familiar, they will strap a belt thingie on me and monitor the baby's heart rate for about a half-hour and also check for contractions/movement. They'll want to make sure her heart rate goes up appropriately after any movement to make sure the placenta/cord are working properly and that she's getting the oxygen she needs. Add this to the ultrasounds and regular appointments and I'll be quite busy at that hospital for a while! We also started our childbirthing class the other night...it's for 5 weeks at 2 hours per session. It felt very surreal sitting there listening to the woman discuss the intricacies of the pelvis and uterus when it seems like yesterday I was sadly watching everyone else heading off to their classes. And now there I am staring at diagrams of a 3 cm cervix vs. a 10 cm cervix in relation to my own birthing experience coming up. It's a whirlwind. I don't think my emotions have yet caught up with what I'm experiencing. Maybe I'm afraid to feel too much until she is here and safe? I just know that hope is a strong emotion that has carried me when I was too weak to move. Hope has been my magic carpet. There's a lot in my head I need to work through. I'll be back soon with some other little thoughts and bits going on around here. I'm happy it's the weekend and I hope you enjoy as well!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Soothsayer

rockport sunset
Hi friends!
I've been thinking about last year and what we were doing at this time; how we had just learned of my T-shaped uterus and the obstacles that come with it. I remember wondering if the future would ever bring me a biological child and I felt so lonely. I felt so far away from everything I wanted. We forged ahead and it was hard. When I had my fourth miscarriage in July last year, I remember writing about how calm I felt. How a peace had come over me. I also wrote of how sure I was that "5th time will be the charm." (read more here if interested) It was true...something had come over me. A little voice inside said it was all just fine and everything was over now. "everything" being the pain of the miscarriages and the worry that came with all of it. I told my husband, my friends and my family that it was all going to be ok and to not worry because it was all over and the next time would be THE time. I remember talking to my brother and telling him I was SURE the next time would be the charm. He told me he just didn't want me to get my hopes up too high only to be disappointed again but I assured him that I just KNEW it would be ok. This all happened on my 30th birthday and my husband had taken me to Rockport, MA for a few days to be near the restorative powers of the ocean and beautiful sights...the photo is a view of the sunset from our room window as we sat with the windows open and felt the cool breeze on our skin. That photo was taken in a moment of such peace and hope...I really felt wrapped up in a hug. During the day, we took a short drive into Salem, MA and did touristy things there. On our walk back from viewing the House of the Seven Gables, I made Chris stop in this random New Age bookstore with me. I have no idea what compelled me to go in there since I haven't been in a place like that since my pre-teen years of angst. I'm not sure what I was looking for but I wandered quickly around and spotted a tiny sign on an index card that said "Tarot Card Readings here." Well, I'd NEVER had a tarot card reading before...I never was interested. But I just felt like I needed to do it, so I asked the clerk and she sent me behind a small curtain where a man sat. He reminded me of a guy you'd see in a Harley biker gang...he was perhaps in his late 50s and had a Harley t-shirt and jeans on. He had whispy graying hair pulled back into a long low ponytail. He had a friendly face and had tanned weathered skin. I sat down having no idea what was going to happen...he smiled at me and explained that he was going to do a Tarot reading for me and that he used the cards and his small amount of psychic abilities together to see what he could. I'm pretty open-minded so I simply agreed to move forward as I picked the cards out from the newly shuffled pack (I got to shuffle them too!). He put them face up one-by-one in a pattern and he sat quietly for a few moments. He launched into what he saw in the cards; telling me about career plans and my home life. He became quiet as he looked puzzled and said "do you have any children?" I snorted and said "NO!" I was going through my miscarriage at that exact second, so needless to say I was a little bitter sounding. He was quiet a while longer and said..."you sound so sure!" And I said "I'm pretty damned sure!". So, he cleared his throat and continued to look around the cards. After a bit he finally said "I'm just confused. You seem to not want children, but I'm seeing them here and I don't know what to tell you." I looked up at him and said "No! I DO want children! I DO! I'm pregnant right Now, but..." He cut me off to congratulate me but I continued on..."I'm going through a miscarriage so it's not really happening." He told me how sorry he was and stared more at the cards. He said "I don't know what has been going on with your journey to get here and I don't really need to know. But I CAN tell you that you will be pregnant SOON if you aren't already. You already told me you aren't so I can only say that it is happening RIGHT away. As in next month. I know you are probably scared, but I can tell you that it will work out great. I see children here for you, I can see them. And I see more than one in your future; I cannot always say that for everyone. You will be blessed soon with the child you have been waiting for and it will be healthy. See?" He then pointed to the cards that lead him to believe this and what they meant. He also told me his "spirit guides" were telling him so and the cards confirmed his thoughts. He looked so proud and excited. He pointed to a card that showed the back of a man and a woman holding hands as they faced a rainbow and sunset over a beautiful landscape. In the foreground were two children dancing in a circle with their arms linked together. (square dancing style). The rainbow was made up of several golden chalices. He said that is the card that, for him, meant a baby is on the way. It was a card of prosperity and dreams coming true in terms of happiness and family...looking to the happy future. After the reading was over, I walked out feeling good. I think it was because the reading validated the sure feelings I'd already been having that things were going to be ok. I felt even more at peace. And I conceived exactly one month later.
Did he really see what he saw? I'd never know for sure. But I CAN say it was just what I needed to give me that little boost of hope in a time of loss. I took what he said with a grain of salt, and deep down I already knew what I needed to know and that was inside of me all along. It DOES make for an interesting story in my history and whenever I feel a little bit worried about things, I think of the friendly man with the ponytail and how he told me it was all going to be just fine.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Little Pea

Little Pea
Hi friends!
This past weekend, Chris and I were roaming my favorite store when he happened upon this book. He held it up to me with this excited and surprised look on his face...and I promptly gasped with glee and we both decided we had to have it. He read it to our Little P. that night and she thoroughly enjoyed it (according to her wiggling response). It's a very cute story written by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and illustrated by the great Jen Corace. You can find it and learn more about it here.

Page from Little Pea

Monday, February 23, 2009

30 Weeks

30 Weeks
Hi friends!
Here is a crappy McCrap-quality photo of me at 30 weeks. Yay! I took it in a dusty mirror and see all my lovely laundry I need to put away? These are things I should get to. But probably won't for a bit. Why? No real reason except for laziness. I figure I'll get to it...it's just a question of whether or not it will be within this decade.
In pregnancy-related bits: it's getting much harder to breathe and I pant after the slightest movements. After I take a sip of my water I find I need to take a break to breathe. It's worst after I eat of course...all proof that my organs are now squishing together desperately; like on the elevator when everyone begs to fit just one more in. And they each pray the other doesn't fart.
I've also officially moved my "spot" in the living room from the couch to the big stuffed chair. My husband always sits there but I've now deemed it impossible to get up and out of the couch without wanting to jump off the roof, so he has sweetly offered to make the couch his new spot for the rest of my pregnancy. I have severe pain in my right hip and I partly blame the soft couch for this. My husband's hip acts up on him as well after sitting on that couch, so it just makes it nice that he's switching with me. You'd think we'd just get a new couch, but we all know it's just not that easy. It goes on the "someday" list of things that would be nice. I have a doc. appointment this week to check Little P's growth and see her via ultrasound. Hopefully she is continuing to do just fine; my belly seems bigger and she is still practicing her audition for that show "So You Think You Can Dance," so all signs point to her doing ok. I'll be sure to keep you posted! I'll be back soon with a sweet children's book we found the other day and a story or two from last summer. Be well!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

On mothering...

beetoflowerDear Little P.,
I must tell you that with each passing day my joints hurt a little more and my body gets a little more tired. I feel like I have 2 wooden legs and hips. I have little red dots all over my body...burst blood vessels that remind me of all the extra blood I'm pumping through the 'ol machine to help you grow. My belly gets quite achy much of the time. As my physical body gears up for the rest of this third trimester my mind is turning its attentions to the future and how you'll be here in the blink of an eye! I know you've been listening to Dad as he reads you Dr. Seuss and you hear me yelling endlessly at the dog. You are able to listen in on my every conversation, joke, and thought. But I don't know what YOU are like yet. What does your voice sound like? What do you look like? What is your biggest wish? How will your belly laughs differ from your giggles? Will you scream loudly all the time? Or will you let off lots of littler whimpers instead? Are you laid back or sensitive? Will you be cheerful? Or perhaps more quiet and thoughtful? It will be such a treasure and joy to discover all the little things that make you who you are. All of this makes me wonder what kind of mother I will be. No, not in a "will I be strict or laid back" kind of way...but more of a "what kind of life do I want to give you" kind of way. I've spent a lot of quiet time thinking about this and here is what I know: I want you to be happy. I want a happy family...a happy "we." I want to create an atmosphere for a magical and imaginative childhood...one you can look back and think fondly on all the fun things we did at home, outside, in the neighborhood. I want to make simple moments into big memories. I want us to have lots of laughter and joy in our home. I want to give you the space you need to be a kid...to imagine, create, think, and make discoveries. I want to "show up" for you. Time goes by so fast and I will savor each moment we have together making magic until you will be doing that all on your own. Life is filled with obligations and daily grinds. I will certainly be strict enough. And I know there will be plenty of moments we will each cry or scream. But I promise I will do something each day to make it special for us rather than let it slip quietly away...and I will choose to focus on the positives because the negatives don't deserve such attention. My love for you is positive and something I'm positive OF. So no, I don't know all about you yet. But I know what is to come and I'm giving you my smile as I write this. I know you can feel it too.
Love always,
Mama

Sunday, February 15, 2009

29 Weeks!

29 weeks
Hi friends! Firstly, I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day!!! (a day late). Secondly, we wanted to say "WOW!" Thank you so much for all your wonderful and kind comments about our new nursery! We were so touched and blown away by the lovely things that were said. It has been a true labor of love and the result of much plotting and planning. We can't wait for Little P to be here so she can enjoy her space...the room just isn't finished until she is here to sleep in it, scream in it, poop in it, etc. :) For now, it's quiet and empty and I like to go sit in the chair and think about her and the new chapter we are beginning. I'm also making sure to enjoy its clean and organized state...I know that it won't last much longer. I can't take all the credit for the room: I was the planner and plotter and Chris was the brawn who painted and assembled EVERYTHING. He was also kind enough to just agree with everything I picked out. haha! Seriously, I'm lucky we are a good team. But he did all the physical work and I'm very grateful.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day and Chris surprised me by booking me an appointment for a pregnancy massage at a local spa. It was heavenly! He also gave me a gift card to Anthropologie (my favorite store). There were lots of flowers waiting for me when I arrived home after the massage. He even got Little P. a gift: a cute pair of pink pajamas and a pink fleecy sleep sack. He got Maren the Wonder Dog a pink canvas bear with looooong legs that had squeakers at the ends. She loves her new toy and the photo shows her running at great speed through the house with it as she showed it off.
Maren's Valentine
We ended the day with getting dressed up to go out to dinner...a lovely meal where I stuffed myself silly. The photo shows me at 29 Weeks and dressed for dinner. There's a quick fun photo of both of us in the bathroom mirror just before we left. We came home and Chris had made my favorite dessert: Chocolate Torte. I managed to get the tiniest sliver in before I thought I would surely explode (that would have put a damper on the day). Thanks so much Chris, for a lovely day! I love you! (I didn't mention that my gift to Chris wasn't as spectacular as HIS to ME...I got him a gift certificate for a throrough interior detailing for his SUV and exterior wash...he'd been mentioning wanting to have his car detailed for a while now (where they clean the interior crevices so much that it looks brand new off the lot). Once spring comes and the salt is off the roads, his car will look like new again. I also gave him some chocolates...and I've managed to avoid sampling them. :)
Pre-Valentine's dinner
P.S. Speaking of chocolate: I failed my first gestational diabetes screen and went for the 3-hour glucose test. I passed and officially do NOT have G. D. Yay! While the 3 hour test SUCKED, I found that I DID enjoy the orange glucose drink. It was like sweetened Sunkist soda. Little P. delighted in it as well. Everyone was warning me about how gross it was, but I was thoroughly enjoying it....and sad when I finished it. Can you tell I like my sugar?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Nursery!

Nursery from doorway
Hi friends! The nursery is basically done! We're still waiting on the area rug but only God knows when that will come in. :)
In the meantime, I took some shots of the space to share here. Sorry for the long post, it's lots of pictures! You can also view the slideshow of the nursery at my flickr page here.

We had our $9 Salvation Army thrifted swivel-rocker chair custom-fit with a yellow/white slipcover and we're pleased with how it came out! I added some fabric in embroidery hoops to the wall by the chair to add more warmth to the space. It's a fun and inexpensive way to add art. A favorite detail of mine is the "hooray" banner above the shelving unit...it's a word I love and it adds to the goal of making the room cheerful. I got it from Caitlin at her Etsy shop called Nice. Check it out, she's got some lovely things there. If anyone has any questions about where things came from, please feel free to leave a comment below and I will be happy to leave a comment below in return. I hope you like it! More importantly, I hope Little P will like it! Much love to you!
Nursery
Nursery Chair
Crib Wall
Crib side
Mobile
Dresser
Hooray Banner
Nursery and Maren

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Old Navy

The Green CoatThanks Old Navy! For making a coat that only has buttons up at the top. My belly has had plenty of unrestricted room to grow this winter. And the choice of green you made is my favorite part of this coat. And although it's not technically a maternity coat, I have made it such and it has been a pleasure. Going out to walk the dog is a more stylish event than it might otherwise have been, so thanks again Old Navy!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Heirlooms

Hello friends! My parents came to visit us on Saturday and my Mom brought me these treasures. They were all mine when I was an infant and she's saved them for me all these years! I had no idea! What a thrill and surprise this was! yellow blanketsweaterThe yellow blanket with matching sweater and bonnet were all knitted for me (she can't remember who made them though)...and the shade of yellow is the exact color of the crib bedding! I've been looking for a little sweater like this, so I'm happy it's here now.
knitted oldies
The pink and blue blanket was knitted by my great-grandmother (Little P's great-great-grandmother) when I was an infant and she died not too long later. It's ultra-soft and I'm excited to use it. My Mom was named after her grandmother and it's so lovely to pass down these special priceless things that she touched. The white and orange "stork" blanket was knitted by my Mom's friend and neighbor just after my birth. The front is covered with all of my birth status information...like a birth announcement on a blanket. Pretty cool to see, and Little P will get to use it now too. And everything is machine-washable/dry-able so we don't have to worry about damaging the fabric. I love blankets and think hand-made knitted ones are so special, unique, and lovely. And great heirlooms! I don't think you can ever have too many. Thanks again Mom, what a nice surprise!
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