Two!

Dear Little P.,

Today you turned two.



TWO!!! (That's what you're saying in the picture and trying to put up 2 fingers, haha)

I feel like I've been waiting for this day forever! I guess I've just been excited to celebrate and buy you fun presents. It's the joy of being able to spoil you before you can be spoiled...I love it! I've been wondering what to write for this letter and thinking of what grandiose thoughts I could put forth and just couldn't come up with anything that seemed worthy or fitting of this day. So, I guess I'll simply tell you that I love you and am so proud of all you are becoming and all that you are right now. I wouldn't change a thing about you; you are a magnificent creature of God and I'm blessed to be your Mama.
What a wild year we have had! You've mastered the art of walking, running, galloping, speeding up and down hills, walking the balance beam, kicking the ball and throwing the ball, and even hitting a giant golf ball with your giant golf club. You've started to speak and communicate and you have wonderful articulation! You've been working hard for months now on mastering your skills of communication, speech, engagement, and social repartes. You are doing so great with it all and we couldn't be more proud. You really enjoy going to your Gymboree class once per week; it's a chance to flex your motor skills and run free. You've been making lots of little friends there and it's fun to see. Your other favorite outing is your Kindermuzik class. I tend to doubt there is any other time when you are so happy as when you are there. You LOVE all the little dances and games and songs. The glee and joyful dancing you put forth prove that it's your favorite thing to do; so I'll have to sign you up again for the next classes they offer! Some of your favorite things to do include: play doh, digging in the sand, collecting leaves in the fall, splashing in the bathtub, finding eggs we hide all around the room (an Easter activity that lives on even after the Easter Bunny has come), coloring with crayons and markers on your easel, directing us to make you a "clue" with crayons (making pawprints and coloring them in Blues Clues fashion), drawing faces on the easel as you direct us (eyes! mouth! ears! hair! sad! happy! etc.), swinging on the swing, rolling on your yoga ball to row,row, row your boat, singing the ABCs (the only song you really dance to), roaring with your toy dinosaurs, putting puzzles together, playing with your Dollies, and your number one favorite thing....READING BOOKS. You LOVE to sit in our laps and listen to stories. You never tire of it. And when we are busy, you are often found to have a book in your lap as you "read" aloud to yourself. I'm glad you enjoy reading time; it's a favorite of mine too. I like sharing the same interests with you; it makes me feel even closer to you.
Today your Daddy stayed home from work so he could be with you and play with you too. We had a wonderful time together. You opened a few gifts this morning and then we got dressed and went to the Butterfly Place. You have had a runny nose, so we canceled the plans to go to Gymboree. You didn't seem to mind. We also had intended to take you to the zoo, but the weather wasn't on our side either. There were lots of scattered showers and thunderstorms that thwarted our intentions. We'll go soon sweetie, I promise. You enjoyed the Butterfly Place and didn't even try to grab or squish any of them.



You just sort of marveled at the sight of them fluttering everywhere. We got you your very own set of butterfly wings in the gift shop. I let you choose the color and you surprised us by saying "pink." Your favorite color is usually blue, but you didn't want those ones. So, we put the pink ones on you once we got outside and you galloped around like you owned the place.







We then took you to lunch at our favorite Chinese/Japanese food restaurant. Your favorite food is their Beef Lo Mein, so we thought eating there for your birthday lunch would be a hit. As usual, you wolfed in your lunch with so much satisfaction and that's all we could ask for. After your nap, we went to the free zoo (PetSmart) and looked at all the critters. You were thrilled! But not as thrilled as when we went to Friendly's to get sundaes afterward.






You said your first sentence ever on the way home..."I Love Ice Cream!" You said it many, many, many times over. It's also something we didn't even have to teach you to say. You just said it out of the blue by yourself while we were in the car. You've never said "I Love YOU" but that's FINE. Hmph. It will come. For now you love ice cream. I wish I was ice cream. hee!!!
Don't worry, I know you love me. You show me every day, and for that I am so lucky.
After we got home, you had more gifts to open (a big hit!), dinner and your cupcake, and then you helped me make your cupcakes for your playgroup tomorrow.



(you got a new apron for your birthday!)





Phew! What a day! It is quiet in your room right now, so I know you are drifting off to dreamland on this first day of being 2. I hope it was as fun for you as it was for us. I'm so proud of you my precious girl. You are so good at being YOU and you seem so proud to be that way. I love that.
Happy Birthday my sweetie P, I'm so lucky to know you much less be your Mama. Here's to a delightful and fabulous year ahead.
Love you always and forever more,
Mama


Your cool new book which you are enamored with...


Your new zoo set (from the Playmobil 1-2-3 line for toddlers).


A few Ostheimer toys that you loved. You kept saying "Mama!" "Baby!" "Mama!" "Baby!" (there was a big elephant and a little one)


Look Maren! See my new giraffe!?


Enjoying the fancy new book


Goodnight Boston! Tip your servers! (You love this new Glockenspiel and we love the sounds it makes so it's a win-win).

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Belly

Dear Little P.,

Today is the last day that you are one year old. I can't help erupting into tears now that I've written that. I'm happy you are turning two; I just wish I could keep you small and innocent and wanting to be near me forever. But I know you don't belong to me; you are a child of God and I'm here to try my hardest to show you how to be the best YOU can be. For now, I'm savoring all the littlest moments with you. In light of that, I decided to take some pictures of your little belly. It's one of my very favorite things and I know you will grow up and this belly just won't be the same anymore. So, selfishly, I took pictures of it and am documenting it here so I can always look at it and marvel over your cuteness. Thanks for humoring me and allowing it.
Love you madly,
Mama

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another

Hi friends!
It's finally starting to seem like spring around these parts! Phew! It was getting depressing...all the cold and darkness and snow and whatnot. I'm now staring at some budding trees and a blue sky. Jiggety jig!
I've been fielding questions as of late...the "when are you going to have another kid" question to be exact. I wish I had a firm answer. I just have no idea. I get pangs now and again...the pang that says that babies are so cute and cuddly and warm. Then I get another pang that reminds me of the work, the elusive sleep, the commitment. Not that I'm not already committed, but you know what I mean. Two is more than one and all that jazz.
The truth is, a big part of me is terrified to go into trying to have another baby. I mean, Paige was our fifth pregnancy. I spent the first trimester in terror and fear. I spent every day shaking, sweating, nearly crying and I thought I could never go through that daily fear again. I was so grateful to be pregnant, but so terrified of something going wrong. I barely slept and didn't really relax until about my 7th month. It didn't help that I bled alot from a hematoma in there early on (nothing like bleeding to calm a pregnant woman's nerves). Anyway, it was a lot to go through and I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to go through all that again. (I won't even go into all the feelings I have with all the time and energy that Little P. needs right now as we learn about what we can do to help her developmentally. A baby thrown in the mix would certainly add another level of chaos.) I wonder "what if I have another loss? And another? Can I really go through it again?" Deep down, I know the answer is a resounding "yes." Paige has proven to me that every scary step is well worth it. Paige, when she was an angel, tried many times to get to me. Her future body was just having a hard time forming. And when it finally did, she came to be with us and we will forever be linked as Mama and daughter. How can I not give her a brother or sister to romp with here on earth? Another angel waiting in the wings for an earthly body. I'm scared, but I know I can do it. I may not know our next angel personally yet, but I know I love him or her and want to give them a home to come to. Soon, dear angel...soon. Please know that I will try my best but I have no control. That I am scared. That it may take a while. That I just need a little more bravery to come my way. In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying your heavenly garden in all its splendor.

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Photo time

I've been ranting and raving on here without much photo love. So, here are some shameless photos of Paige being cute from one day outside in March (a warm-ish day we had JUST before Rotavirus hell hit us). I love the one where her mind is blown over the pine cone. I need to get that happy about something, stat.

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Finding the Key

Hi there!
Ugh, we had SNOW for the past 2 days. YUCK! We never seem to have much of a spring around here. It always seems to go from winter to summer overnight; perhaps 3 weeks of a spring at best. I'll keep my sights set on the end of May for that to happen, ha!
I promised to share some insights regarding Little P's speech and such so I thought for this post I would focus on a discovery I made. Paige had begun her weekly therapies and I wanted to know what more I could do during the rest of the time with her to help her move forward. Her therapist gave me little things to work on, but it never seemed like much when I had the whole week alone with my daughter at my disposal. Internet searches usually turned up empty (READ TO YOUR KID! NARRATE YOUR DAY!!! really? I'd been doing that and it wasn't really helping us along.) I finally found a WEALTH of information and tips at Teach Me to Talk. It is a website run by Laura Mize, pediatric speech language pathologist with over 15 years experience and thousands of hours helping toddlers learn to communicate. Her goal is to help parents work with their toddlers at home on their own or in addition to the therapies they are getting through early intervention services or autism services.
I ended up reading all of the blog entries in the all of the sections of the website and I learned SO MUCH. From there, I ended up ordering the Teach Me to Talk DVD and the Teach Me to Play WITH You book. The DVD was very helpful for me in that it shows clips of Laura working with her clients and how she works her magic. It's useful to see her methods in action. It's not for the children to watch...it's a DVD for the parent to watch and learn from. The book was also helpful for me in that it is filled with ideas for finger plays, social games, and lists the best toys all for enhancing language development. These games are tailored for toddlers who have delays, so I was thrilled that Little P could actually participate in these...they weren't over her head or beyond her abilities.
Aside from the wealth of written information on the website, Laura also does podcasts! You can see that section on her website. I went over there via I-Tunes and began to take my pick of shows depending on what topic seemed to fit our needs. There were several! I've spent many an evening listening to a show or two. I found them helpful and fun to listen to.
If you are looking to enhance your child's speech or feel concerned about their development Teach Me to Talk is a great place to start finding some support and help. (If you are concerned about a possible delay of any kind in your child, I highly recommend having a free evaluation by your state's early intervention program. No reason to drag your feet! It's great to start as soon as possible to rule out potential issues or target the area your little one may need a bit of help with. It will only help your child and give you peace of mind. Like my friend and Little P's Godmommy said: You wouldn't wait to see the pediatrician if you thought your child had a serious illness; you would take them in to get checked out.

I have to say, the clip from the website that first caught my attention and changed the whole game for me was this one.



I noticed how FUN she was making playtime. Laura demonstrated a lot of energy and the toddler was so engaged. Maybe I needed to really ramp up our playtime to that level of fun and energy to get Little P to notice me? I tried it, and it worked. Paige was watching me (finally!) and we were having fun together. I ordered the DVD so I could watch different scenarios...it was about an hour long and touched on issues for children who have trouble engaging or listening as well. We now play in a concentrated engaged way for a minimum of an hour per day (spread through the day) but I try to tally in as much as 3 hours of engaged time per day if I can. We've been working our way up to that amount. It can be tiring and challenging to stay that energetic for such a huge chunk of time, but it helps to spread it out. Chris also participates when he comes home from work...he engages and plays for stretches of time with her after dinner and during her bath time. Every moment together with her presents an opportunity to be fun, playful, and learn language in the process (meal times, grocery store, errands, diaper changes). In turn, it has also done wonders for our mother/daughter relationship.
Anyway, changing the way we play has been instrumental for our changes so I wanted to share!
I hope people find Teach Me to Talk as helpful as we did! I'll be back soon to share more. Enjoy your weekend friends!!!!

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This Just In...

Alert! Alert! Paige just pooped in her potty for the first time! She also got to hold a book and have me read her "Little Pea" during said poop. When she was finished, she said "Bye Bye!!" to the poop as it was flushed down the toilet. After much dancing and jubilation, she got to choose a special Hello Kitty puffy sticker to wear on her sleeve, which will go on a chart I make tonight after she goes to bed. She got to call her Daddy at work and said "A poo-poo!" when I told her to tell Daddy what she did.
And that is the end of this special Alert. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

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What you talkin' 'bout?

Hi friends! I've missed you!

I'm back in this space, hopefully more regularly! I've been sick pretty much constantly these past few months and have just plain been worn out. I've had a lot on my mind and you know how that happens and you seem SO MUCH MORE TIRED than normal and you just don't want to do anything extra? I'm waving my hand since that's been me for quite a while now.

Back in early December we decided to have Paige evaluated by our state's Early Intervention program. At that time, I'd spent a significant amount of time worrying about her lack of speech and her lack of interest in being with me or caring whether or not I was there. She spent a lot of time playing by herself, looking at books alone in the corner...generally keeping herself entertained all day. She seemed to wander from thing to thing without ever stopping for much time to really play with anything and never seemed to be able to focus on anything. When I spoke to her she never really looked at me or seemed to care about what I said. Her moments of eye contact were swift and fleeting. Now I know it's all called a "Lack of engagement." She could make the sounds of the animals and say "Dada" but couldn't say Mama or much of anything else that would be useful in her day. I wasn't as much worried about her speech in figuring that perhaps she was just going to be a "late talker," but it was the lack of interest and focus in anything that was starting to freak me out along with the fact that she wasn't trying to communicate via pointing or gesturing (which came not long after the evaluation, phew!)

The evaluators came out and it was a melee of women crammed in our play room as they watched Paige wander around and tried to get her to do different things. She ended up having very advanced gross and fine motor skills (well past 24 months and some things closer to age 3), and her cognitive skills were where they needed to be. But her expressive language (the words she says) and her receptive language (the words she UNDERSTANDS) were way behind. Meaning at a 10 month-old level. Paige was 19 months old at the time. They also noticed that she seemed to not be able to focus on things because she was too busy seeking out sensory experiences...she had to touch everything or chew on her doll or play in the bean box...and they hypothesized that THAT was why she was behind...she just couldn't organize herself enough to pay attention and learn from what was around her.

She was immediately assigned different therapies...a developmental specialist (DS) to help her work on social skills, eye contact, engagement, focus, etc. A speech therapist (a speech language pathologist) to help her develop her language skills. And an Occupational Therapist (OT) to help sort out her sensory needs and how to meet them so that she could focus on her tasks. She starting seeing the DS once per week (for one hour) and the others once per month (for one hour). Unfortunately, many snow days, illnesses on both sides and other challenges made the number of visits be dramatically less than planned so I can't quite yet say it has had a huge impact aside from the bits of advice they can share with me at the end of the visits.

But, I CAN say that through my own research, reading and studying I have figured out the best ways I can help Little P at home on my own time rather than waiting around. It may not be perfect, but it's something and it's consistent. In the beginning of January she had 10 words and as of yesterday (March 27th) she has 114 in her expressive vocabulary (words she can say without prompting). She is able to focus for huge lengths of time. She is able to follow directions now and point out anything in a book if I ask her. She is finally starting to mimic us...not just repeating words but also making faces we make in the mirror, silly dance moves, and other games (things she used to be unable to d0). She looks us in the eyes all the time now. She smiles and wants hugs and snuggles. She kisses us and says "night-night" at bedtime. She comes to me and clings to me through the day (which she never used to do). She has starting asking for things she needs and communicates her needs if she can't say the words (she never used to even point at things she wanted or needed...she'd just cry). She's a whole different kid in only 2-3 months' time! I can say that I believe that she's a late bloomer in hitting those certain milestones, but she hit them. My fears have finally subsided as she now acts like the other kids in her classes and even takes certain leadership. It's exciting since it wasn't long ago that she used to run away from the other kids and play alone in the corner and avoided everyone and everything at all costs. She certainly never could take direction or sit still. Now it's all different.

I've spent a minimum of one hour each day (usually closer to 3) of working with Little P. I've read a lot of texts about how to engage a child who is hard to engage. Our best method has involved PLAYING together in a concentrated way for several chunks of time through the day. The website Teach me to Talk has been monumental in teaching me HOW to play with Paige in a way that will engage her, keep her with me during play, and learn to enjoy being with me. In turn, she can LEARN from me (language, eye contact, fun, warmth, give and take, all sorts of social cues). We play with a variety of toys that are meant to draw lots of language opportunities out and it's worked like a charm. I've also learned lots of little social games that are fun. I can barely keep up now with the changes in her! Best of all, for me, is that Little P wants to be with me now and no longer insists on playing alone (she used to run away from me every time I tried to insert myself into her play). She always wants me nearby (which is the normal thing) and we enjoy a warm and loving relationship filled with rewarding moments and fun. I can't tell you how special that is when you missed it for so long. Little P. is able to express herself, share, and include me in her games. It's such a gift. I've also figured out what sensory activities Little P. craves and have learned to discern when she needs them through the day. She can focus and engage so well after a little time in her swing or squeezing the Play Doh...as examples.

In honesty, I spent a lot of time in the past crying and wondering why my daughter didn't seem to care if I was around. It was hard on me after all the struggle we went through to have her. (and I mean that in the way that we went through so much before we were lucky enough to have her and it felt like we'd already "paid our dues" in terms of challenges...of course that's not how life works)I felt such a bond WITH her but didn't always feel it FROM her. It's not to say she disliked me, she just didn't know how to engage with me in meaningful ways all of the time. She definitely had moments of needing me, connecting and enjoying my company. It just wasn't a deep and constant connection most people enjoy naturally with their kids. Now, that problem is long gone and I say GOOD RIDDANCE! I'll admit, sometimes now I get a little down that I have had to work so hard to have all of this happen (and will likely continue to do so). This stuff comes naturally without effort for most kids, and that's just not the case for us. It's been another challenge in my life that left me wondering "Why us?" We did everything "right." (I've learned that our kids come with their own special gifts, struggles, strengths and challenges and it has nothing to do with us as parents unless we are abusers and it's certainly not our kids' fault either...it's just what IS) I'm tired a lot and some days I just can't put in the effort to do so much extra. But, in whole, discovering how to engage Little P has changed our lives so drastically and thrillingly and I just had to write it here and share in case anyone else is going through a similar thing. We've gone through the tunnel and are coming out the other side. We are still on the road. Right now, things are exactly as they need to be and I feel really grateful.

Over the next while, I plan to write some posts about some of the activities and strategies that have worked well with Little P and her being a late talker/having a speech delay and what has helped her engage and enjoy relationships with the people in her life. Any experts out there, please know that my words are in layman terms and in no way am I trying to be scientific in this space. I'm simply sharing what I've been doing in my own words and leaving it at that. There are plenty of reference websites that go into more medical and scientific detail. Also, we are still in this journey and I'm not a doctor so I can't say I am an expert or that Paige is totally caught up on all fronts. I simply want to share what we've been doing since there's not a ton of information out there for the parent besides "read to your child" and "narrate what you do all day." (While those are great things, I DID them and continue to do so...it just didn't make much of a difference for us since P. needed MORE).

So that's what we've been up to for the past several months. I debated about not writing about it all here, but it's very therapeutic for me to share and I feel so many people can relate to my feelings. Little P. is doing so much better to the point where I personally feel she's getting caught up to where she should be now or will be very soon, and because of this, I wanted to share with others who might be wondering about a possible speech delay in their own children. There ARE little things you can do to help... starting NOW while you wait for those evaluations and answers or for time to pass until you can know more. Every child is different, so I can only speak about what we are up to and hope it can spur on an idea or two for you.

Wow. That was a long freakin' post. Sorry. But it's been a lot. Please know that I've missed being here and sharing our adventures. We're in a much better place and I have lots to tell so I'll so you in this space again VERY soon! Be well!

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23 Months

Your first pigtails!

Dear Little P.,

Today you are 23 months old! So close to being two! Your last month of being a 1 year old...I can't believe it. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and cry a little bit to myself, sniffling in the dark about how time slips right through my fingers and I can't seem to grasp it. I think about how having you in our lives has blessed us in the most complex and profound ways. Each day presents new challenges as we try and work together, you and me, to help you grow and flourish. I always end up realizing how happy you are and it always makes me feel better enough to sigh and fall asleep.
This past month you've discovered your social side as you notice how much fun others can really be. You smile and frolic with others in a way you never used to. You are starting to enjoy pretending and actually PLAYING with your toys. You've uncovered a big love of dinosaurs and roaring like them all over the house. We got you your very own Stegosaurus and Brachiosaurus figures the other day and it was like the best day of your life. Who knew some dinosaurs would be like the Second Coming? What a fun time we are having together! It hasn't been all roses and sunshine as you spent several days sick, sick sick. Puking every 15 minutes for 36 hours...and then having days of residual illness afterward. Not so fun for anyone, least of all you. I felt so bad for you and your poor listless body. But now you are fully mended and filled with energy. "Outside!" you scream half the day. You don't care that it's arctic-cold and windy until you get out there and promptly say "All Done!" We can't wait for warmer weather!
We're having so much fun, my little love. We make a great team. You and Dad make a great team. Together, we make a great family and that's my dream come true.
I love you deeply now and forever more,
Mama

More Pigtails...





I know she's playing with the blinds' cord and that's a no-no. But, she was attended (this is in my bedroom). She just loves to make the blinds go up and down and then make them stay that way. I'm always watching.

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Treasured Moment

Last night as Paige was on her changing pad (after bath and getting her diaper on) she grabbed my hand and said "hug!" and pulled it to her chest/heart. (This was the first time I've heard her say "hug.") She proceeded to snuggle it with both her arms tightly and rocked her body a little to the left and then a little to the right. A sort of hugging sway. She had a big smile and held my hand so close. It was so sweet and I almost cried. She then did the same to Chris' hand.
Paige had never been much of a snuggler; always preferring to be on the move or doing something else (but not for lack of effort on OUR part to get snuggles!). She's been becoming much more affectionate in the past couple of months and I'm loving it!
I was lucky enough for her to do the hand hug with me again this morning after she ate her breakfast in her high chair. She suddenly grabbed my hand, said "hug!"and did the same thing. I about melted into a blob right there. That would have been a good time for her to ask me for a car. She missed out on that one!

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22 months

Here is Paige, hoping to watch a show (but I said no and we read books instead)

My Dearest Little P.,

When you burst into my room this afternoon with Daddy you had the brightest smile...your cheeks bursting and I saw all of your teeth at once. You screamed with glee and ran toward me at lightning speed. I had just finished a nap (I've had a nasty cold AGAIN!) and I guess you missed me! You gave me a wonderful hug as I reached over the side of the bed. Those are the moments I string together like pearls at keep around my heart. These are what makes life so wonderful and meaningful. There have been many, many, many of these pearls lately!
Paige, you are such a happy kiddo. SUCH a happy kid. And that makes ME so happy and feel like I am doing something right. You rarely fuss about anything anymore; you are just so cheerful and excited about life. You are incredibly bubbly and bouncy. I often can find you skipping and hopping around as you say "hop! hop! hop!!" I have even found you in front of the mirror saying "Caw! Caw!" as you flap your arms as you pretend to be a bird; so silly. Your smiles have gotten more expressive and bright; your snuggles more cuddly. Our bond has strengthened beyond measure.
One of your favorite activities is to sit and "read" to me. You babble, jargon and chatter at a high rate with lots of inflection as you tell me a story from any number of books. I can never recognize any of the words and it just doesn't matter. Your stories are the most wonderful in the world. They are yours and I'll always be listening in awe.
We are having such a wonderful time together. I cherish these days and miss each one as it passes by. Being with you is the greatest pleasure. We've been through a lot these past few months but the challenges have delivered the greatest rewards. Being your Mama is the greatest job I could have ever dreamed of and I often pinch myself because I feel so lucky and wonder if I'm in a dream. I miss you when you are in bed at night all safe and warm. The morning brings the warmth of your smile and the delight of your giggles; I hate to be away from them!
You are going through some rapid changes with growth, speech, and a developing personality...it's like being there as the flower unfurls. It's so fast! You are so different today than you even were last week. There's simply no containing you even if I wanted to.
I often think about how loving you means giving you plenty of space to grow and find yourself. It means letting go of your babyhood and trying to control all your movements. But it also means knowing when to hold you close and enjoy right amount of togetherness for playing and learning. I don't always do it right, but I want you to know that I try my best to give you what you need to help you be your best.
Your beautiful and happy face tells me I'm doing just fine. So, thank you for that.
I love you always and forever more,
Mama

We created a little nook in our bedroom with books and a few toys to make you feel welcome.

You love a good scratch and sniff book

Making a proper mess as you play in your room

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Free Play used to just be "Play"

Here's Paige, enjoying some simple play time.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the loss of "free play" in the lives of many children. Thanks to structured adult-led activities, screen time, video games and the like many children are losing the art of play and the benefits it entails. Here's a NY Times article from not too long ago that discusses this further. I highly recommend reading it if the topic interests you.

What is free play exactly? Here's a quote from a pediatric article I read:

"It is important to note that this kind of play is meant to be unstructured, child driven play. It is not the kind of play time that is totally controlled by adults and doesn't include passive play, such as sitting in front of a video game, computer, or TV.

Keep in mind that just because free play isn't controlled by adults doesn't mean that you shouldn't supervise your kids while they are playing, especially if they are playing outside.

Examples of Free Play

True free play is any kind of unstructured activity that encourages your child to use his imagination, such as playing with blocks and dolls. It wouldn't include playing with most electronic toys.

A group of kids playing soccer in the backyard together, versus only playing on a team with a coach, would be another good example of free play time. This type of active free play is also a good way to help your kids meet their daily physical activity requirements."

OK. So, it's basically active play where kids use their imaginations instead of passively being entertained by a toy or other stimulus that does all the work. This reminds me of how I used to play when I was a child.

I LOVED my childhood. I frolicked and played outside in sun and snow, often not coming in "until the streetlight" came on. I dug for worms; my parents didn't mind me messing up the yard a little. I made mud pies and pretended to run a bakery on the stone property border/wall. I played kickball with the neighborhood boys and rode my bikes all over our part of town (after learning on the tricycle and then the Big Wheel). I loved to collect insects, turning big rocks over to see what lived underneath. I examined ants and studied their travels and made up stories about where they were going. In winter I stayed outside sledding, building snow forts and snow kitchens and rolling around. When I went to my best friend's house, we made elaborate mazes for her kitten to run through in her room. We walked through the woods behind her house and frolicked with her dog. We played music on her keyboard and puzzled our way through computer mystery games (when we were older). I remember being VERY young and pretending our couch was a ship. I remember taking a blanket and creating a "tent" in my bedroom where I pretended I was a boy scout (I guess I didn't think girl scouts were rugged enough?). I spent hours in that tent during rainy days with my books, rope (for practicing knots), stuffed animal friends, and a flashlight. I didn't need much space (my bedroom was maybe 7 feet x 7 feet or so with a slanted wall on one side.) People complain about having small apartments and not having room for their kids to have this kind of play so I'm a good example of the fact that you don't need a ton of space to use your imagination. I remember Kindergarten being so awesome. There was a corner with giant cardboard blocks, a doll area, a kitchen area, an art corner, a book corner, an area with a few tables for us all to sit at, and a rug for circle time and listening to stories. And, for when we were well-behaved, one or two of us would get rewarded with permission to play in the indoor sandbox that we could stand at. I remember the day we learned about the letter 'V' and we made vests (starts with 'V'!!!) out of paper grocery bags. We colored them violet. (starts with 'V'!!!!) Anyway, there was magic in getting lost in my own little world during my play time.
The NY Times article I mentioned quotes a woman who toured the Kindergarten in her town and was shocked to find a wall of computers and a bunch of little desks and that's it. That surprises me. Also, it just doesn't seem developmentally appropriate? Maybe I'm naive?

My friend, a 3rd grade teacher's aide, told me that the children in her classroom have no clue what to do when there is indoor recess due to inclement weather. They sort of sit and stare at each other and it takes a lot of suggestions to get them going. I can't imagine that!!
It makes me sad.
Here is a list of articles on the importance of play, why it matters, what children learn through play, and some play ideas if you are interested in more information on the topic. They are helpful!

This is all easy to say, but what about the reality of the pressures?
Another friend told me that her son is having trouble keeping up with the skills the other boys have in a certain sport he is participating in. They all started in 1st grade. He didn't start until about 6th or 7th grade (which I thought was normal?). Needless to say, his skills are no where near those of the other boys in his 8th grade class and it shows; and is affecting him. sigh. There's so much pressure to start children SO EARLY in activities so they can compete and stay on par with the other kids. But how far is too far? Is it ever enough? I also realize that people are concerned with safety these days. Surely we can still adopt SOME of the old ways of playing to suit our needs? I know we can't exactly just let our kids roam free until the street lights come on anymore...sigh.

Here's my commitment:
I'm going to do my best to allow Paige to have as much time for free playing while she is a child as possible. (of COURSE she'll have chores and responsibilities to tend to as well). I'll let her help me do my adult tasks around the house as much as she wants to while she's young (she thinks it is so fun and she's learning so it's a win-win.). I'll encourage her creativity and imagination as much as possible through limited screen time, open-ended simple toys, and lots of outdoor play/romping. I'm fine with organized activities, as long as there aren't too many. I can see it will be hard to be selective, but in my opinion it is a must to limit them. I'm going to remember that everything is fine in moderation. I want Paige to relate to her peers, be able to perform to her academic capacities, enjoy extra-curriculars, and lead a happy life...this is the mission I will try to remember when the pressures to do more or less start to attack. It's a new world we live in, but I can still do my part to keep it a little bit magical for a little bit longer for my wee one. And clearly it is in her best interest when it comes to creative problem solving and the like.
I know I may sound over-concerned...my daughter is barely two. But, time goes by fast. As I make plans for her birthday gifts and start thinking about what activities we can do through the year ahead I want to be conscious of how each decision impacts her. Do I get the electronic toy du jour? Or, do I go with the simple play silks and wooden blocks? Each decision shapes the whole issue of play and its quality.
In the spirit of sharing...while I find it to be a very idealistic account; I found this piece of writing to be inspirational for me on a personal level. Some of the bits really resonate with me.

Here's Paige, playing with my slippers and making fun in my bedroom

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Her favorite

Happy Friday!
I thought I'd post another little video of Paige enjoying her favorite game with her Daddy. It was a fun way to spend a morning! I love those two.

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Boots and winter

Paige has taken to wearing my shoes all around. My winter boots are no exception. Here she is doing some fancy footwork after putting them on:




And then she declared (no, not REALLY) "THESE are mah new puzzlin' boots!!!".



Wishing we could play outside more. Our fence and playhouse are officially buried in the backyard. That's 4 feet of snow, my friends! When it isn't 2 degrees, we try to play a bit in the driveway and I also pull her sleigh up the road and back. (Always ending with "more!" and off I go back up the road...no worries; there's no traffic) But it's so darn cold lately, it's just hard to be out there. sigh. When is spring coming?

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21 Months

Dear Little P,
21 months old! You are turning into a little lady. There's just no denying it that you are losing your baby chub as you grow and stretch and turn into a little girl. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard for me to see you leaving your babyhood behind. It has gone much too quickly. We tried so hard to bring you into the world and then your babyhood came and went in such a flash. I feel like babyhood needs to last just a little bit longer! But, I guess it would never seem like enough. I can never hold you or snuggle you enough. Such is the plight of being your Mama. Especially because now you aren't too keen on being snuggled unless it's on your terms.
This past month you have made some great strides in your speech development as well as with your focus and attention. You seem to be doing better every day. You discovered an obsession with puzzles and fine motor tasks. I've watched you put puzzles together and then immediately dump them out over and over and over again. I've been giving you more difficult challenges but you seem to solve them so quickly! It's hard for me to keep up with this flurry of connections you are making. I love watching you concentrate and the way you say Ray!!! (Hooray) when you finish a task. You've taken a shine to working with Play Doh and playing with your shape stacking puzzles. It's different because you used to be so into running around, moving and getting into things. Now I can usually find you sitting over a little project. All within a week or two's time. Watching you grow is just amazing!
The best part about all of these changes, by far, has to be that you are bonding with me more. You come to me and engage with me much more than you used to; it warms my heart to feel this connection with you I've waited so long for. You cuddle my legs, you look at me with a smile and joy in your eyes that makes me melt. You ask for me and look for me and always want me to play with you. You are my sunshine and my heart; the joy and love I feel for you is everlasting. Please know that everything I do is for you and what is best for you in mind. Being your Mama is a job I take very seriously and put a lot of conscious thought into because I love you more than the world. I see a beautiful and perfect soul in your smile and for that I am forever lucky and grateful.
I love you always and forever,
Mama

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Dollie

Hi!
Meet Dollie...
She is Paige's much loved special toy that she takes with her to bed and everywhere else. We have 2 Dollies...one for upstairs and one for down (the downstairs one also tends to go in the diaper bag with us). They often cross paths, to Paige's delight. Sometimes both of them go to bed with her. It's great that one can go into the wash while the other one gets to hang out; they can get AWFULLY stinky and gross. I'm already wishing we had a third. I just wanted to document her favorite toy for the sake of posterity. Thanks for taking the time to meet her!

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Play doh time!

Hi friends!
Several months ago, my parents unearthed my old lunchbox from when I was in Kindergarten...E.T.! I can see my 1983 wisdom of personalizing it with stickers to spell my name and embellish the front with a heart and some antennae-thingies on ET's head. I was so excited to see this old thing! It's been sitting around on a shelf for a while now and I decided to store Paige's play clay tools in it. It's got a simple latch that she can do herself and I like that I can see my old friend and keep him useful again!
For tools Paige is favoring some plastic straws (sturdy like sticks) to poke, poke, poke the Play Doh. She also likes chopsticks and this little rotary wheel thingie (that makes nice lines) I found in the basement cache of tools. There's also a cheesy plastic rolling pin that she uses the end to poke the Doh and also a little plastic "garlic press" that makes "hair." I prompt her to "pull, pull, pull!" when I squeeze the hair out. And finally is a little dull plastic knife for cutting and making lines and poking. She never used to be very engaged with this, but today she took this out twice. The first time she played for over a half-hour, and the second time was a good 15 minutes. I only had to remind her once that the activity stays ON the table. And when we were done she was happy to put away all the tools back in the box and latch it shut. I'll enjoy her penchant for cleaning up while it lasts. :) Over the past few days I've noticed a love for fine-motor games take her over. She's obsessed with all her puzzles and has speedily put them all together...and she's now onto all her other toys that have little bits and bobs to stack, sort, peg, build, etc. She gets so focused and intent on doing them all over and over. All stuff to keep her little fingers busy and flying. I want to encourage her, but at the same time she is lost in her own little world. Not good when she still doesn't have much going on for language. But, we're working on sneaking in chances for building speech into her little games. I'll fit it in however I can!! See you in this space soon!

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Playroom Take Two

Hey there!
Now that the playroom is "done" I thought I'd post some new photos of it with the play kitchen in place and all Paige's holiday toys put away. I also avoided using the wide-angle lens for this so it doesn't distort the room. To answer an earlier question from a reader, the room size, I believe, is 11 x 12 feet. (Sidenote: If anyone wants to know more about some of the stuff in here, try checking out the topics column on the right of this blog under "playroom for wee." I tagged all the posts about this room with that to make it easy to find info. Or you can feel free to email me at the address listed on the upper-right) Since everything has its place, it's easy to clean up at the end of the day and keep it looking like this. Some days I don't feel like it so the floor has scattered books and bits on it, but for the most part we like to pick it up and keep it looking new. We also added a mirror to the wall where Paige can admire herself during dress up (which so far means donning a bunch of cheapy necklaces and watching them swish back and forth) and we play mimicking games. She also likes to watch her mouth move as she tries to babble and sound out words. So cute! The thing in the left corner in the toy zone is not a TV; it's a lamp that looks like an aquarium. Paige is very visual and loves fish so it was easy to decide to get it. I often find her staring at it and waving hi to her little fishy friends; especially when she's a little tired and needs extra soothing. I'm glad we changed the office into her playspace; we are in there all day long with plenty to do with no temptation of the television in the family room. I know Paige enjoys having her own place to go and be cozy and where we can all play, make art, make music, read, and enjoy being together...and that was my goal. Mission accomplished!

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