My Middle Finger

(warning: this following post is filled with profanity and can offend. Proceed with caution!)


I'd like to take a moment to rant. To shout out a hearty "FUCK YOU!!!" to the media and their constant scare tactics that are driving all of us crazy. I can't turn on the F-ing news without hearing about some sort of dangerous food item that could harm my health...and it's usually something healthy like broccoli or tomatoes or chicken, etc. I'm surprised I'm not dead yet. How are we not ALL DEAD??? I understand that there are some foods that are contaminated sometimes...e-coli, salmonella, etc. can be a risk. But to do a whole news story on how salmonella MAY be on your chicken and to study how the spray from the chicken gets on your counters as you wash it in the sink is going too far. Do I, or do I not wash the f-ing chicken???? First, I'm supposed to wash it, but now it's BE CAREFUL! The spray from the chicken get's all around the kitchen when you wash it! SEE? Here's a UV light to show how it's all over your clean kitchen. It's on your TOASTER! It's on YOUR HANDS!!! It's ON YOUR OVEN! It's on all the KNIVES YOU JUST CLEANED! AAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (insert my twitching eye here).
Don't eat tomatoes! You'll get E-coli. Don't eat spinach! You may die. Don't eat peanuts! They have salmonella, and if you eat one in a public place you may kill someone on the other side of a large room. What do we eat? NOTHING, that's what. We drink water and maybe a gluten-free, organic, all natural, wheat free crust of bread. But WATCH OUT! It may give you too many empty calories, causing you to gain weight and get DIABETES and die shortly thereafter.
Here are a few news articles on food alone:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2006-11-20-salmonella-chicken_x.htm
(the hell of chicken)

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,215257,00.html
(creepy spinach)

http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSN1037615120080610
(tomatoes and the atrocity of food in general)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/16/peanut-butter-probe-expan_n_158689.html
(death-peanuts)

Anyway, I think you know what I mean. But you know what sent me over the edge. RIGHT OVER THE EDGE???!!!! The recent story about how the milk industry is pushing chocolate milk in public schools so that children continue to get the benefits of milk (rather than choosing sodas or sugary juices, etc.). I am happy about this and see no big deal. But then, of course, I put on the news and saw this and find that people are AGAINST it, saying schools shouldn't serve it because they don't need the added sugar and it's contributing to obesity. You know what? FUCK YOU TOO!!! Here is my middle finger so you can do what you will with it!!! How about you let your kid play outside once in a while? Maybe, oh...say....RUN AROUND???? Perhaps it's the fear instilled in you from the media claiming that a kidnapping rapist is waiting in your front bushes just chomping at the bit to take you by surprise? (as an aside, I freakin' lock my door when I'm IN THE HOUSE because of this....and my town has pretty much NO crime). Perhaps you want your kids to run around, and schools should encourage this. But, don't forget the EXTREME DANGER of dodgeball, tag, and other fun kids activities...someone COULD GET HURT!!!! Screw you, schools! Stop banning everything!!!! Many schools have even removed their playground equipment because it COULD pose a threat. So, the kids get to mill around with their fingers up their noses (WATCH OUT! SWINE FLU!!!!!) waiting for recess to end because they can't play tag, there's no playground to play on, and there's NO TOUCHING (someone could get hurt!!!!) And the kids' feelings get hurt that when teams are picked...nobody picks them. Well, you know what? How about the TEACHER take some time to create the teams in advance so nobody is made to feel like crap? Just a thought. It seems to me that the greatest general media suggestion is to: Lock your children in a cage (they should be safe there, if you keep it out of your salmonella laden kitchen!), feed them water and organic bird seed (since most other food can kill them at some point), let them out to run in a giant hamster ball (although, the plastic may have BPA in it, so WATCH OUT!!!) and send them to bed after hours of homework while listening to classical music.
I guess the point of my rant is this: Children need to be allowed to be kids. They need a little fun in their lives. The media is always suggesting we SUCK the fun out of the very marrow of childhood. But, children DO need boundaries, limits, and rules. They need parents. When Paige is old enough, I will make sure she plays out in the yard. That she climbs trees. That she runs around and learns about healthy competition through sport. That if she gets hurt, to get over it and learn from it. To learn to be vigilant about putting herself in dangerous situations and be leery of strangers. To learn to resolve conflict. To eat a damned cupcake at a birthday party and know that it's ok.To drink chocolate milk with abandon and give a hearty sigh when she finishes a cup. If I need to be there to monitor things, than so be it. I will take time out, go outside, and make sure she stays safe. I will not plunk her in front of the TV every day because it is easy (but you know what? I WILL SOMETIMES!! TV shows are FUN! And they can learn from them if they are appropriate!). To ride a bike around and know about traffic safety and manners) and yes, to wear the damned helmet. That she learns about manners in general...to eat properly in a restaurant, to say please and thank you, and to care about others. To try new foods and new things and ENJOY the life she's been given (and know that, yes, too much of a good thing can be bad for you). Because, on my death bed I'm not going to look back and say THANK GOD I didn't drink that one chocolate milk at lunchtime when I was ten!
Phew! Thank you. Over and out.
-Megan Cassidy Carty
http://meandwee.blogspot.com

Freedom isn't free

Happy Veteran's Day! I'd like to use this post to honor all our servicemen and servicewomen who have put their lives on the line to protect us and our freedoms. I think about them and that fact every day and am always so appreciative. Thanks, Dad, for your service and to all my other amazing family members and friends who've served or continue to serve. The picture above shows the U.S.S. Canberra...the ship my Grampa had served on in World War II. It was torpedoed during the war off the coast of Formosa and was towed to safety after much drama and loss to say the least!

My favorite sound

This video shows my favorite sound in action. Magic! Paige had just had a bath and her Dad was about to put on her jammies. He can't resist blowing raspberries in her armpits to make her laugh. It never fails! You can see a little scrape on Paige's forehead...sigh...I feel so bad! I was adjusting her straps in her high chair and she lunged her head forward unexpectedly and it hit my thumbnail just so. It gave her a little scrape with which she cried and I felt soooooo horrible. I know it was an accident but nobody wants to see their baby cry from something they did, right? It's healing nicely already thank goodness!

A passing day

Hi friends!
Thanks for all your ideas for baby activities! Today we sang some new nursery rhymes and we went to the mall for a while to walk around. Lots of lights and music kept Paige very entertained. She's been enjoying looking at her books.

I'll keep working on trying to get out and about each day... one commenter mentioned the days can be like the movie "Groundhog Day" if not careful. It's so true! It's my job to make it interesting and exciting and that's just hard at this point. I know it will improve once she can sit on her own, etc. Especially when she starts walking! I'll make sure to really enjoy things as they are now! Now that Halloween is over (the picture shows her in a fun Jack-O-Lantern bib her Godmommy sent her) we are thinking of Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'd love to get my shopping done ASAP in order to avoid holiday time crunch stress. We'll see if I can follow through! Paige decided to wear her cousin's sweater she borrowed to get into the spirit of things.


Be well and we'll be back in this space soon!
P.S. You can see how my second watercolor painting from class turned out here.

Strollin'

Hi there!
Paige wanted to show you a few of the images we took from our walk today. There is finally a "bite" to the air and the peak foliage is over.
This morning we were playing and playing and she began fussing and fussing. sigh. I feel like each day is starting to be the same thing over and over. She must think so too. How many exciting things can you do with a 6 month old? I'm running out of tricks up my sleeve I guess. That's why I decided we needed to go for a nice long walk around our side of town. The sights kept us both entertained and now we're ready to face the rest of the day refreshed. Any other mamas care to comment on the little activities they do with their babes? (Paige spends a lot of time in her Jumperoo, then she spends time on the blanket rolling around the floor and grabbing at her toys, then maybe we'll read a short book and look at the pictures and we'll walk around the house looking at all the things as she learns about what they are. Lately she's been practicing sitting up alone and standing up while I hold her hands. Sometimes I'll sing Itsy Bitsy Spider while doing all the hand motions...which she loves. I'm now out of ideas!)

P.S. Paige went to her 6 month checkup the other day and she now weighs 17lbs and 12 oz...she is 28.75 inches tall. Still a tall lady!

Happy Halloween! Rarrrrrrrr!!!

Paige's very first Halloween!

6 Months

My dear Little P,

I have no idea where to begin with this letter to you. I will say this: You are such a joy and treasure to us. Truly! I have been having so much fun taking care of you each day; I just LOVE it! I never knew just how much I would enjoy being a Mom, but you make it even greater than I'd ever imagined. Your personality is really starting to shine through. What a character you are! You love smiling and laughing (although you always get suspicious when the camera comes out) and shrieking with glee. You are ever-cheerful, thoughtful, and curious. You love to get full attention and be the star of the show. You play at being shy with strangers, but you always turn back with a bigger smile than the first after you coyly look away. Such the flirt!
Your favorite toy continues to be your Jumperoo. I think you'd jump to the moon if you could. You enjoy holding your smaller toys and pulling them toward you now for a closer look. You love to sit up on your hands while laying on your belly. You can really see the world around you this way, but you are most happy about seeing your toys within grasp! Your sweet baby kisses are my favorite new thing that you do. They are so sweet (and slimy!) and tender. You grab a hold of my face and plant your mouth right against my cheek full-force and hold it there until you can't breathe anymore and need to break away. I treasure those kisses and wish I could bottle them up and use them over and over.
You continue to grow like crazy and are now wearing lots of things for babies that are 12 months old. Such the tall one you are! You really do take after your Dad in many ways! You are starting to be able to sit up (with some help!) and enjoy playing at standing up while I hold your arms. You are starting to enjoy solid foods (so far you've tried Rice Cereal, Oatmeal, Peas, Sweet Peas, and Green Beans). You enjoy Green Beans best so far, but we're still just doing vegetables for now. Just wait until you try fruit!
I had no idea the time would go by quite THIS fast. Half a year old! You're doing great sweetie! It's been such an honor to watch you grow and thrive. I couldn't be any luckier.
I'll close this letter by telling you that my heart bursts with love for you. I have always heard the phrase "the heart aches with love." Or "I love you so much it hurts." I never knew just how much that phrase could ring true until now! My heart aches when you go to bed at night; I miss you so much when you are away from me. I stare at you sleeping and I am filled with so much emotion and pride. Just your smile is enough to bring me to a halt. I never thought I'd be so wussy and sentimental but I just can't help it. Please know that I love you more than the Earth, Moon, sun and stars...always...and no matter what.
Love you always,
Mama

At play

My name is Paige.

I love to play with my toys.

I also love to get attention...

And smile big at my Daddy.

Fall

Hi friends!
Today we got to enjoy a bit of extra-warm weather! It's supposed to go back to being chilly tomorrow, so we took advantage and spent much of the afternoon playing on the lawn outside our house. The leaves are at peak foliage so Paige was captivated with the treetops. I had to throw in a photo of Maren snuggling with her beloved rubber bone. It used to be covered in tennis ball fuzz, but she ripped it all off. I think she'd marry this toy if she could; but she settles for snuggling it in the evenings. I was happy to finally capture a photo of it!

Catch up

Hi friends!
I'm sorry we've been missing from this space! We've been sick with a horrible cold and it's still hanging on. blech. I thought, in the meantime, I would update you with some follow ups from earlier posts!
I'd mentioned just a few posts ago about my watercolor class...it's so fun! I just had my third class last night and we did a color version of the monochromatic painting I posted about before. Here are my 2 paintings together:


As you can see, I made a few changes to the color version and I like the composition much better. It didn't take much time to make the painting since the teacher was guiding us through steps to complete it.

Also, a few posts ago I'd mentioned our apple-picking trip and my desire to make an apple pie. Well, I did it! And it was delicious. Of course, I scoured the internet and picked a recipe that was very involved (for a first-timer) but it was well-worth the extra effort! You can find the recipe I used HERE. Don't I look excited? hee! I didn't make the crust myself...that was a Pillsbury pre-made one and it was great!





And, just because, I thought I'd show this amusing photo of Chris doing his best Paige impression.

Love

Happy Anniversary my love! 4 years of wedded bliss and every day is better than the one before it. I couldn't have asked for a better husband and partner. You always remind me of that in the little things you do and say each and every day. Like this morning when you woke me to say goodbye on your way to work...I said: "life itself began when I married you" and you said "my life really began when I MET you." I love you.

Chuckle-o

The best chuckle is at the end. We'll be in this space again very soon!

Apple Picking!

Me and Wee enjoyed a day out apple picking with good friends yesterday! We got enough for me to make a pie (I've never made one from scratch before and this will be my first attempt). We also admired the animals there, stared out at the foliage, and enjoyed the nice weather. There was even a hayride to take us up the hill. Good times!

Solids, man!

Once upon a time, there was a sweet little baby girl named Paige who was ready to venture into the exciting Land of Solids. She started her journey with Rice Cereal.

What the HELLLLLL!!!!?????


Why are you DOING THIS TO MEEEE!!!!????


Well, on the other hand...


Mmmmph...mmmmhhh...NOM NOM NOM


Can I get this in my belly faster?


Oh sweet tastes of goodness



Phew! OK Daddy, I'm a little full and exhausted.


That wasn't so bad after all! Jealous?

Sunshine

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away"


Once, during the times we were trying so hard to have a baby I had a dream. In it, I was holding such a lovely little baby. It was a little girl; she must have been around 18-20 months old and she was sitting in my lap. I was at a bbq in the summer. I remember she had 2 little ponytails in her hair...short little ones. I remember feeling the warm sun on my skin and the top of her head was warm from it...I had nestled my chin onto her head and could breathe in the smell of her shampoo. I felt so much love and affection in that moment. I felt so content with the world and that everything was perfect. I felt a love I'd never felt before. And then I woke up.
I lay in the dark feeling so sad I cried. It had felt so real. And then it was gone. I never forgot that dream, nor did I forget the feelings I had in it. I heard the song "You are my Sunshine" again today and the second verse made me take pause and reminded me of my dream:

"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried."

I always sing that song to Paige before her naps and I never made the connection about the second verse until today. Listen to the song version we like here. I'm so happy Little P. is with us. I think of that dream when I watch her sleep and my heart swells even greater than the moment before. And, just because, here is Paige in my favorite hippo jammies. Soon they won't fit and I just had to document her wearing them. :)

Bedroom Re-Do

We redid our bedroom not all that long ago and I thought I'd share some befores and afters. Click HERE to see photos of our bedroom before the redo and the afters.
If you want to see it all via a slideshow, click HERE.

Watercolor Class

Hi there!
I'd mentioned in an earlier post about finding balance in life. Well, in a step to find time to enjoy something that is just for me AND just for fun, I enrolled in a watercolor class at my local community center. It meets every Monday night for the next several weeks; last night was the first gathering. I LOVED it! The teacher is going over techniques and "how-tos" with lots of individual instruction thrown in. I took a course in college and the professor literally gave us assignments and then sat there as we worked. I had no clue what I was doing the entire time and just sort of figured things out as I went along. But, I struggled. In just last night's course I learned several things I'd been doing wrong that had been making watercoloring really hard and giving me crappy results. So, it's been worth it so far! As you can see in the photo, we've begun a one-color painting of a lighthouse (here it's about half-finished) to learn about shading, tone and controlling the water. All that aside, it was nice to get away and do something for myself for pure enjoyment. It's nice to have no purpose...there's no grade, no critique, no trying to sell the paintings, etc. I get to just sit, get lost in the project at hand, and play around with it. There was a mix of people in the room; old and young...experienced and un-experienced. There were no judgements (a long way from the scary and sometimes mean critiques I suffered through college...I have a great story of a professor who ripped up one of my projects into little shreds...sigh) It was so relaxing and the 2 hours went by like nothing. I can get used to this! I came home feeling so excited and energized simply from this one thing! What do you do that is for yourself and just for fun? It's something to think about if you haven't been doing it already. Have a great day!

5 Months!

Dear Little P.,

I cannot believe the time has flown so quickly and you are already 5 months old! It still feels like you were born yesterday; still, I know I will probably always feel that way. This month wasn't vastly different from your fourth month. The difference is, you are bigger, stronger, and longer. You've gotten so much better at using your hands to play with the toys on your Jumperoo and you have found your feet. You love to try and eat your toes and you are constantly rolling around gripping your heels. Your new favorite activity!

And your voice...OH your voice! You've been experimenting with shrieking both loudly and softly and in very shrill high pitches and lower ones. You're our little opera singer! You haven't broken a wine glass yet, but you are on your way!

I had to take a break in writing this letter to you just now; our cable guy has come to install HD TV! We are very excited (your Daddy especially). But don’t think I’m going to just let you watch anything anymore! While waiting for him to run out to the truck, I gave you a big kiss on the cheek (as usual) only this time, you turned around and gave me a return “kiss” back on MY cheek! We went back and forth like this for several kisses in a row as you laughed and smiled. Of course, your version of a kiss is a wet, open mouthed press into my skin. But it was perfect, wonderful, and amazing! My first kiss from you! See? You discover new things every day and I get to come along for the ride. And for that, I’m so eternally grateful and ever so lucky. I’ll never understand what I did to deserve you, but I’ll spend my life trying to live up to it. I’m so proud of you.

Love you always and forever,

Mama

Birthday Boy

Dear Chris,
I'm so lucky to have such an amazing husband as you. You are incredibly sweet, supportive, hard-working, loving, caring, strong, smart, funny, helpful, generous, gentle, clever, and special. I have no idea what gift could possibly compare to our Little P, but I want this day to be special for you as it is for us because you are here. I wish I could put into words what an unbelievable husband and father you are...nothing could do justice. So, on this day (and every day, at that) we want to remind you how much you are loved. How much you are appreciated. How precious you are to us. You've shown me true happiness and bring blindingly beautiful light into our lives every day. We are so lucky. So very blessed.
Happy Birthday, my love and we can't wait to see you when you get home!
Love you always,
Megan and Paige

Houston: We've Made a Discovery

FEET!

Caught Foot-Handed!

NOM NOM NOM!!

Fancy Footwork

And in unrelated news, Paige is styling a fancy 'do with her bald patch in back. She claims it's the next big hairdo since "The Rachel" from Friends. Who am I to argue?

Workin' for a livin'

I've been asked by lots of folks whether or not I'll be going back to work or if I'm already back to work. It's interesting timing for these questions because I have no freakin' idea what's going on with that. At least officially. I know that the issue Work vs. Stay at Home can be a touchy and sensitive one for any new mom. As a graphic designer, I already ran my own business from home. I figured I could resume as usual once Paige fell into a regular nap and daily routine. Well, that all sounds great on paper, but in REAL LIFE! it is not quite so simple. Each day is different and naps can be great or scant at best. My energy levels rise and plummet like the daily tides; who knows when I'll be in the "mood" or find the "energy" to design 5 custom wedding concepts for the most discerning of brides who wants a scripty font...no wait--a sort of scripty font that is still legible...no wait...maybe something more like calligraphy?....or no...maybe I could see several versions and decide? I just don't have the time to properly serve clients like I used to. And frankly, I want to focus on raising Paige. It was a long and rocky journey to get her here and I want to selfishly soak up every second in her blue eyes for as long as possible. So, for now, I've decided to be a Stay At Home Mom. I don't know when I'll dip my toe back into my career as a custom designer. Perhaps soon? Perhaps in 7 years? I just don't know. I'm taking each day as it comes and I'm happy with where I am at. It's not to say it hasn't been an adjustment. The focus is off my OWN interests and goals and more onto guiding the hands of a little one. And that's the change. It's just plain different and a hell of a lot more selfless than I'm used to being.
I've had many discussions with others about the Working vs. Stay at Home Mom debate. And here's my two cents: There shouldn't be a face-off. I believe in Mothering and in choice. I believe in the ideal of what works for YOU and makes you happy is what is best. If you like to work in a separate career and want to work, then I applaud you for doing so. If this works for you AND your family then that is all you can ask. I don't think anyone should be ashamed to say "I love my job, I like to work and I'm going to continue to do so." The same goes for a Stay at Home mother. If that is what you WANT and enjoy and are lucky enough to be able to do, then I'm glad for you. In my mind, if Mom is happy, then things have a way of falling into place as they should be. Many women are able to do both by having a part-time career AND stay at home mother the rest of the time. I also, though, believe in balance. I believe that children need to be well cared for no matter WHO is caring for them. I believe ALL mothers need special time for themselves, special time with their children, and special time as a family. I think about all the wonderful mothers out there who want to stay home with their children and desire to...but cannot due to financial restrictions. These are cases where choice holds no place over necessity. It is a difficult place to be when you are caught between 2 completely different worlds. Where there is constant pull in one direction and then the other when you just want to be in ONE place. Here, the challenge is to find the good in situation at hand and to make it great. At the end of the day, we all work to find a balance for what works best for OURSELVES and for our families. No 2 families are alike and no one solution is the cookie cutter answer for all. I believe in doing what is best for YOU in YOUR situation and making it great. What could be more right than that? In my case, I'm choosing to stay home. With careful budgeting, I'm fortunate enough to be able to do so. For this, I am sure to give my thanks and appreciation every day. I enjoy the challenges of motherhood...so far. I'm sure I'll have my frustrated moments. As far as my career goes, for now I think I will design a cohesive line of letterpressed cards that I will sell in my online shop; I can print at my discretion during my free moments. This way, I can keep a toe in doing what I love without the pressure of needing to please a particular client. I can always get back into it later on when we are ready, right? But for now, the precious moments with Little P are fast and furious and I just don't want to miss any. This decision works well for me, and for wee (my family). I hope that whatever decision you have made is working for you and yours. And if it's not, I hope you can find some sort of way to make the best of your scenario to make it great, or change it if at all possible. Let's not judge each other's choices. Let's encourage each other to strive for what we most want out of life, whatever that may be, and support it. As I've said, I don't believe what works for me should work for everyone. In my upcoming posts, I'll expand more on what I'm trying to do to make the best of my decision and how I'm trying to keep a balance. Hugs to you!

Notes

Hi friends! It's been quiet around here! I'm sorry for that; we've been filling our time with trips to the Minuteman National Park (nearby), visiting with friends, running errands, and overall life-living. I've been trying to enjoy the nice weather while we have it before winter comes crashing in a few months. I wanted to show you the thank you notes I designed and letterpressed for Paige; they are made to match the birth announcements I designed and printed. Now I have a custom card to send out whenever she gets a gift or needs to send a note. Of course, for now I write them but I'll be sure to get her into the habit of writing her own thank yous when she is able! Have a great day! I'm off to run errands and then watch Paige as she is, as of yesterday, finally grabbing her feet and inspecting them! She's a little monkey, that one.

Tally McTall

Holy crap. Paige measured at 26.5 inches long today at her checkup. Wowza! She is 4 months and 1 week old. She weighs 15 lbs. 7 oz...a little above average. He showed me where she measures on the chart and her height was way up off the curves...must be nice to be tall! It's something I've never experienced as I always had to hem my pants no matter where I got them. Now I see why she is constantly outgrowing all her clothes!

Labor Day

Happy Labor Day! I will be spending the day off doing some letterpress printing; for myself and for a family friend. We also plan to enjoy the great weather by going for a hike in a state park nearby. I hope you enjoy your day too!
I was recently reading a blog of a lovely lady who is wishing so much to have a baby. She's been working so hard charting her temps, filling in charts, and tracking her cycle as she tries to make it more likely to happen sooner. I remember doing those same things for a few years up until 13 months ago. I hated that time and I remember it vividly. The wishing, the hoping, the feelings of depression and anger and loss over our miscarriages, the desperation. It was a vicious cycle that restarted every friggin' month. It would be easy for someone who hadn't gone through it to just say "stop trying so hard, it will happen when it is supposed to" or "just relax and it will happen." I know what it is like to want something so badly you can taste it and feel it in the middle of your bones. When it is impossible to NOT try so hard. You know what helped me? When I found myself so sick and tired of thinking about it all the time? I read the book "The Secret." It didn't hold the answer or bring me a baby, but it gave me a new outlook on my approach and view of things. It made me shift my focus from what I didn't have to what I DID have. It made me shift my focus off of my sadness and onto the great things that would come. It helped me remember and find the joy in the FUTURE. To learn to say "wow, it's gonna be GREAT when it happens!" instead of "why hasn't it happened yet? Why haven't I been picked yet?" It was hard. But I was so tired of feeling desperate from having "wanting a baby" consume my entire life and my brain...reading that book helped inspire me to shift my focus and it just made me feel better overall. I did conceive Paige only a few cycles after reading that book; but I think that was a coincidence. :) For all of you fabulous ladies out there who are trying for a little one, please know I am thinking about you and hoping a little angel chooses you to be his/her mother soon. Yes, it will be a joyful and happy time whenever and however it may happen. But don't be afraid to allow yourself to feel that joy NOW. That's what got me through the hard days...picturing the future and the happiness that was to be, always put me in a good frame of mind. Dwelling on the sadness was all-consuming and turned into a very bad habit that took a while to break. But worth the effort!
Much love and hugs.

dinner

Yesterday, Chris and I decided to go out for ice cream as our dinner. Then the plan was to have a piece of cake at home afterward. Why? Because, we are adults and we can. I was remembering back to childhood when I had great plans for when I was "grown up" and could "eat what I want." Well, after many a healthy meal we decided to throw in the towel for one night and indulge our inner children. I'm so glad we did! In case you are wondering, I had a chocolate frappe and Chris had a Sundae with hot fudge and peanut butter.
And, just because, here is a picture of Paige from yesterday.
Here's to crazy dinners and chubby cheeked babies!

Hard at Work

Another tough day at the office!

Baptism

Paige was baptized this past Sunday; it was such a special day for her! She did great, we had yummy food and cake, spent time with family and enjoyed a beautiful day!

4 Months!

Dear Little P,
You are 4 months old today! Can you believe it? I certainly can't. I was looking at your newborn pictures the other day and cannot get over how different you look and act. Time is going by too fast! I was crying a few nights ago...just overwhelmed with love for you, and I said to Daddy "time is going by too fast! We wanted Paige for so long and there was so much build-up to her arrival! Now that she is here, it's going by way too fast!" I sobbed and sobbed when I put all your newborn and 0-3 month clothes away in the plastic bin. Each little dress and outfit a treasure and symbol for the start of your life. I know, I'm such a sap. I wish I could keep you my little baby shnook forever. But, you are growing day by day and I'm just so proud (even if I may seem sad). Each day there is something new and exciting you figure out, from rolling over (at almost 15 weeks) to using your little hands to grasp and move toys. You now roll all around your playmat like a pro (belly to back and back to belly), and you've taught yourself to move like an inchworm on your belly across it to get from one side to the other. Can't leave you laying around anymore while I leave the room!
In other news, you had your first vacation, which went great! You enjoyed all the sites and sounds by the ocean of Maine where Mommy has spent a lot of time and grew up near. You had a hard time the week after that...so much excitement was had and I think you had a hard time winding down to nap during that week. In fact, your naps are practically non-existent right now. Short little bursts, they are. But, you've been sleeping from around 6:30 to an average of 4:15 each morning where you have a meal and then it's off to bed until 7:00. We are so happy now that sleep is back! At least for now anyway. In day-to-day news we've spent a lot of time each day going for little walks on our street...just seeing the sites of all the wonderful flowers, trees, and bushes in the neighborhood. We've spent some time on the weekends with Daddy at the pond. Isn't it so relaxing there? You like to splash your feet in the water. The rest of the time is spent on your playmat or on your new Jumperoo. You love this thing! You bounce all around in it and are fascinated with all the little toys and lights on it. It's so fun to see you so gleeful! Speaking of gleeful, you had a great visit recently with Nana and Grandpa Cassidy. You were so full of smiles and giggles; I guess you love being the center of attention! You always love to see them when they visit and you bring a lot of sunshine into their lives too. I can say for sure that you are my sunshine too! I want to tell you that I have enjoyed every single moment I've been blessed by you. Every look, every smile, every cry, every breath, every shriek and sigh have all brought so much joy and love in my heart. I will keep on trying to be the best Mama ever for you...you deserve the world. Keep on being "you" and I love you always!
Love always and forever,
Mama

At the Pond


Enjoying the shade in your Peapod


In the middle of your first roll from belly to back!


So proud and surprised after your first roll from your belly to your back!

Crazy Lion

Warning: this video contains the word "ass" a few times. Be aware if you have little ones listening or trying to watch.



Warning: this video contains the word "ass" a few times. Be aware if you have little ones listening or trying to watch.
Sorry to be M.I.A. We have been busy enjoying the summer and Paige is a busy little bee what with all her rolling around and moving she's doing! She's keeping me on my toes! I'll be sure to do a proper post tomorrow.
In the meantime, this video is of Chris trying to entertain an un-impressed Paige with her little lion toy that dangles from her carseat. He's using a funny "lion" voice. I just love the look on Paige's face through it; she's so tired and ready to go to sleep that she has zero reaction to anything. Especially at the end. Sorry if it's not funny to you; perhaps you had to be there. But I laugh every time I see this.
As a background tidbit: at the beginning Chris mentions the word "grabby" ...which isn't a word. So I bring up the word "bitey" ...again, not a word. He'd tried to sell it to me as a word during vacation while we were playing Scrabble...we both had sucky letters the entire game. *sigh*
See you tomorrow!

Hair

I got a haircut!