Friday, April 10, 2009
Dear Little P...
Dear Little P.,
Your 36th week of living in my tummy is coming to a close in a few days. You will be considered full-term soon, and that means you can come at any time! Not that I'm pressuring you. I'm just excited to see you in the flesh and know you are safe into the world. Now that it's closer to your arrival, I find myself terrified that something is going to go wrong. We've gotten so close now, and I just want to know that you will get here safely and everything will be ok. It's so reassuring when you wiggle around inside; reminding me that you are fine...that I don't have to worry so much. So thank you for that, I appreciate that you "call home" and let me know how you are doing. I've started nesting and getting all of your belongings ready for your use...it's nice to have some extra energy for once! I've now washed all of your clothes, blankets, bibs, burp cloths, sheets...pretty much everything made of fabric.
I've also washed all of your bottles and bottle parts, pacifiers, and anything else that will touch your mouth. When I finished hanging up your outfits that you got from your shower I had to step back and marvel that these weren't just baby clothes...they're YOUR baby clothes. We'll actually get to SEE you in them. Since then, I go up and peek into your closet just to be that much closer to you visually. It seems silly, I know...to get emotional at a bunch of hanging clothes. I guess it's the symbol of what it all means. As I was feverishly washing and sorting through your onesies (everything is also organized by size because the nesting instinct knows no boundaries) I came upon this one...freshly washed and ready to be folded. It's the only item of clothing that has these words, the first time I've seen these words and know that I'm the one they mean:
I had to sit down as my throat tightened. Fat tears slid down my cheeks. A little piece of pink cloth with some simple words on it never meant so much to me. You are almost here, my precious Little P. Please know that Mommy loves you more than anything and I would sew that on a trillion pieces of cloth to prove it.
Love always, forever and please be careful,