Dear Wee One,
I woke up yesterday morning early...I was so nervous. As I lay there in bed, I imagined you swirling around in my belly all snug and warm. I thought about my life up to now and remembered how I'd always wondered what my husband would be like or who my children would be if I had them. I took for granted that one day children would come along easily as soon as I decided to go ahead and have them! I learned that there are so many things in life that we can't control so we can only sit back and try to enjoy each day as its gifts are presented to us. I knew, though, that this day would one day come...I'd always viewed it as one of the most important days of my life and I'd never known when it would happen (just that it WOULD). I've wanted SO BADLY for you to be ok...to be healthy and safe and secure...and to know that I am doing a good job in keeping you that way. It is the most important job I'll ever know! Before I got out of bed I imagined you in our lives late next spring. I tried to imagine your eyes, the warmth of your skin, your little nose, your soft hair, those little hands and feet; and it all felt so real to me. Tears of gratitude slid down my cheeks as I got up and quickly got ready for the day. When your Daddy and I arrived at the hospital, we waited for what seemed like an eternity through a long genetic consultation. It finally came time lay on the little cot and the vision of you sprang to life on the little screen. Your little heart was beating away in your bulbous little chest area. We sighed as we saw all your little fingers waving with your arms above your head. We marveled at all your little organs and bones...so strong and working so well! We are already so proud of you! We giggled at your little feet and cooed at your round tummy. We even caught a quick glimpse of your face in profile! We learned that you are healthy. You are well. You are safe. You are warm. You are perfect! This was everything we could have dreamed and more. As I drove away from the hospital much later (with all the precious pictures of you on CD safely in my purse) I thought about the future again. I can almost hear the giggles from you, our little girl--our daughter, and I am now sure that there are no other moments quite as special as this. We love you so much, little P. I haven't met you in person yet, but I know you in my soul.