Thursday, October 1, 2009
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away"
Once, during the times we were trying so hard to have a baby I had a dream. In it, I was holding such a lovely little baby. It was a little girl; she must have been around 18-20 months old and she was sitting in my lap. I was at a bbq in the summer. I remember she had 2 little ponytails in her hair...short little ones. I remember feeling the warm sun on my skin and the top of her head was warm from it...I had nestled my chin onto her head and could breathe in the smell of her shampoo. I felt so much love and affection in that moment. I felt so content with the world and that everything was perfect. I felt a love I'd never felt before. And then I woke up.
I lay in the dark feeling so sad I cried. It had felt so real. And then it was gone. I never forgot that dream, nor did I forget the feelings I had in it. I heard the song "You are my Sunshine" again today and the second verse made me take pause and reminded me of my dream:
"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried."
I always sing that song to Paige before her naps and I never made the connection about the second verse until today. Listen to the song version we like here. I'm so happy Little P. is with us. I think of that dream when I watch her sleep and my heart swells even greater than the moment before. And, just because, here is Paige in my favorite hippo jammies. Soon they won't fit and I just had to document her wearing them. :)