Monday, September 8, 2014
First Day of Kindergarten
Dear Little P.,
The past few years have been a whirlwind that led to this day; your first day of kindergarten. It was last week, but I just couldn't bring myself to write to you until today. My soul was too fragile to write on your first days. I know you've been in full-time preschool since you were 3, but this feels so different. So official!
I will admit it, I sobbed for a few nights before your first day. The night before, I curled up in my bed and cried like a baby. I was so excited and happy for you, but sad for myself. I felt your babyhood just *POOF* disappear before my eyes. I was mourning all the things we didn't get to do together because you were always in school. We missed so much bonding time between Mama and baby. I still cry when I think about it. I don't regret anything, though, because having you in school has been a huge boost to your social and emotional skills you needed the extra help with. I had to trade my wishes and dreams of what mothering you would look like for what was best for YOU and your life ahead. I'd do anything and trade anything if it means the best for you. I love you so very much.
You were so thrilled on your first day and couldn't wait for the bus ride. You were so proud wearing your new backpack filled with all the little things you needed for school...lunch, snacks, a rest blanket/towel, your school folder and your special name tag. When the bus arrived you ran right away and up the stairs...and I called "Wait! Wait! I didn't get my hug!" So you stopped and let me give you a quick cuddle. I snapped an even quicker photo and then the doors closed. Off you went! Noah cried for a bit when you left; he missed you but I also think he wanted to ride the bus and go to school too! He was pretty jealous.
When you got home you were pretty tired, but filled with exhilaration with your full and busy day. You didn't share too much about what went on, but I know you will open up with a little time and space. You seem so happy each day so I can only assume you are enjoying your new school experience. I'm so proud of you my sweetie. You have been so strong and brave and filled with joy for all the new things happening in your life. You are so kind, friendly, sweet, silly, creative and soulful. These are traits that make you who you are...the person I love so very much and am so proud to be the Mama of.
I hope you know that I will be here for you every step of the way in your journey through life. These first steps of your own independence are so meaningful and special and I'm so glad I get to share them with you. I miss you every moment you are away but know that I am confident in the person you are...you will go far little lady!!!! And know you are always on my mind and always in my heart no matter what.