Monday, May 18, 2009

Before and Now

First Stroll
Our first stroller walk! Chris, myself, Paige and Maren went for a little walk last weekend.
Hi friends!
It's a dreary and chilly day here...a surprise amongst all the sunny warmer weather we'd been having! Paige and I have to take a walk to the post office today to make a pile of shipments and I hope it doesn't rain! I've been reflecting on my feelings about motherhood since Paige came to us and I've been thinking about the things I worried about before she arrived.
1. I worried that I would not feel bonded to her
This ended up being far from the truth. True, I didn't feel bonded that first or second day, but by the third and fourth days I felt a burning need to be near her as well as a wave of love every time I held her.
2. I worried that I would be a nervous mother constantly checking on her in her crib every 2 minutes to see if she's breathing
I surprised myself with this one! I feel confident she is safe in her crib and I sleep pretty well! If she's slept longer than expected sometimes I'll tiptoe into her room and peek in. But that's once in the night and not every night.
3. I worried I'd be depressed
I've suffered from depression on and off for years, so post-partum depression has been a concern. But so far, so good! I get weepy from the hormones, but only through feeling immense amounts of sentiment...not sadness.
4. I worried I'd feel a loss of my old life
Not yet. I might feel this later on, but for now I'm too busy to feel much! :) I CAN say that I feel very fulfilled and amazed. Although, at 2:30 am and she's fussing and screaming...I tend to miss my uninterrupted sleep in my previous life. But, it's such a short time it will be like this, especially in the scope of life. I try to focus on the positive and not the negative of the moment. After all, it's all about how you view these things that can make all the difference. Easier said than done, but there you go.
5. I worried she would be overly fussy
Well, she has normal newborn baby fussiness. We do a lot to combat it and it all seems to help. The best thing to do is to learn to roll with it and know it will end at some point. She doesn't seem to have "colic" though. I was scared to swaddle her with her arms in, since she seemed to like having her arms out. BUT since I started swaddling with her arms IN, she's been sleeping more soundly and in longer stretches. She also naps in the swaddle...and she wouldn't nap for me before. Don't get me wrong, she still spends much of the day awake, but at least now I can maybe get an hour where she will snooze. It's on the upswing!

So, it seems a lot of my fears can be put to rest. I'm taking each day one at a time and learning to live in each moment. It's such a better way to be! Even though time is going by fast, I'm appreciating each second all the more. It's such quality time now.

11 comments :

Joy said...

I am glad to hear that I have hope as someone who has had issues with depression in the past that I am not doomed to the post-partum variety, it's something I worry about too. Just so you know...I think EVERY new mother worries about most of the concerns you have mentioned, I'm glad it is all going well for you, I can't wait for my little lady to be here and to start the same journey!

The Kanter's said...

Glad all your fears have been put to rest. I can't wait until she smiles at you for the first time. You will just melt!

Chantelle said...

That's beautiful. xx

thestamfordwife said...

I can relate to all of your fears being the mom of a two month old. I too had battled depression for years and haven't had an issue with PPD at all (yaaay!)

I hope you don't mind, but I posted your nursery on my blog - it's just too beautiful not to share with my pregnant friends (I have many of them) who are searching for inspiration.

Enjoy your sweet little one! She's beautiful!!

Jessica H. said...

This is so great to hear! I'm expecting my first in a few weeks and I have the same worries and questions. It has been so fun watching you go through things a little bit ahead of me. Your blog is an inspiration - thanks for your candor and for sharing your joy with the world!

Lor said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Stephanie said...

Yay. I can't wait to go on my first walk with my little baby girl (once she gets here!). I think taking it one day at a time is an excellent strategy and knowing that the sleep deprivation will be over with pretty quickly... thanks for sharing!

Kristal said...

Just found your blog...congrats on your beautiful baby girl!! I'm drooling over your amazing nursery. Looking forward to following along with your new mommy adventures. :)

Gio said...

Hi, I found your blog a few months ago when I found out I was pregnant and wanted ideas for a nursery and found yours. I have been keeping up with you and your wee since then!
I would like to say that I feel good about reading this last post of yours. These too are my fears(my little one comes in six weeks!!!!), actually the exact same fears. So its good to know that there is hope! Thanks for sharing!

:)Gio

alicia said...

wow our babies sounds similar!! Ivy cries a lot during the day and fights napping till she is over tired at night and won;t sleep! i have tried everything to soothe her and the last two nights i have had to drive around with her just so i could put her to bed! i think i will try swaddling her arms in and see if that works, she likes her arms free too! i am glad you are doing so well with everything, i feel like a mess, I am crying lots and getting frustrated lots, so glad I have such an awesome hubby to support me and ivy!

Ivy@PaperElixir said...

Just stumbled upon your blog... congrats on your new baby! We're also expecting our first girl, also have a doggie first-born, and I also letterpress (just as a hobby though), crazy eh? It's so nice to read about your experience, as I definitely share the same fears. Your nursey is gorgeous, by the way! Come check out our blog when you get a chance :)

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