Saturday, May 23, 2009
Thanks so much for all your encouraging comments on my last post! I'm feeling much better and yesterday was a good day, which helped. A good friend of mine sent me one of those emails about mothering; an essay by Anna Quindlen. It was so beautifully written and really touched my heart. This section of the essay really sums up what I want to do with this blog and how I feel about having a child:
"But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while
doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly
clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs.
There is one picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on a
quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1.
And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and
how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish
I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner,
bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the
getting it done a little less.
Even today I’m not sure what worked and what didn’t, what was me and
what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought
someday they would become who they were because of what I’d done. Now I
suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in
a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The books said to be
relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over
I really want to treasure the "doing" more than the "getting it done." Even when things are hard or I really want to be under the warm covers, I try to let myself BE in the moment with Paige and really experience it rather than let my brain wish the time away or wander off to the next task just begging for the end of the day. This blog is a great way to document those moments and I hope to continue doing so as she grows! Happy Memorial Day to all!