Saturday, October 6, 2012

What to do about blogger envy

Hi friends!
I hope you're having a great weekend!
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately; particularly about all the blogs I love to read. Do you ever look into someone else's world and say "Wow, they are so cool. That's the kind of life I'd like to have." I have to admit I do this. Not all the time, but sometimes. The truth is, I'm proud of my life. I'm proud of who I am. But we all know the grass always looks greener on the other side, doesn't it?
When we look in on someone's world...someone who happens to have the clothes we want, or the hair we want, or the furniture/decor we want it's easy to feel jealous. We're reminded of the things we WISH we had and we're left feeling a little empty. We're reminded of what we feel are our shortcomings when we see others seeming to "do it all." They look put together, they have a perfect family, they go do fun things all the time, they have time to make dinner and do crafts each day...
When I fall into this trap I remind myself that:

1. Blogs are edited versions of life. Just like reality shows, they are snippets from a moment in time. People will show you what they want you to see and what they are willing to share. No more, no less. They aren't going to show all the flaws and stumbles that fill the day.
2. Blogs can be inspiration. We don't need to look at our favorites and feel so jealous. It's all about choosing the right way to look at that jealousy. We can simply say to ourselves "What is it that I like so much about this life I'm reading about?" Perhaps it's not really about the clothes or the "stuff" and more about the deeper issues. When I feel jealous about how cute someone looks all the time, I know it's because I've been dressing like a slob and not showering for 4 days. Easy to fix! I go shower and get dressed in something I feel good in, and the feelings go away. If I see someone who has cool decor I covet, maybe it's because I'm unhappy with a certain space in my home. Easy to fix! I figure out how to make that certain space better and tackle it.  Clear the clutter. Slap on some paint. Tack up some art. Rearrange the furniture. Etc.
This takes me to:
3. Remember our life is what we create it to be. Wanna have more fun? Go have more fun! Find a way to fit a few whimsical moments into each day! Go for ice cream, or make some yourself! Put on loud music and dance with the kids. Go outside and do fun things...go exploring. Find your inner child.  You wanna dress more fun? Start with one outfit and build from there over time.  Wanna be a millionaire? Sorry, I can't help you there. But we can learn to be happy with what we DO have which leads me to:
4. Think about what you are grateful for each day. I like to sit down and ponder about my blessings each day. When you take time to notice them, you realize that there's a lot! This sort of abundance is all around you if you stop and look at it. I myself am just learning how to harness this feeling. I'm trying to find the mundane things around me that are really the stuff of life. Changing a diaper. Noah's little giggles. Paige's funny little stories. My ability to walk out in the fresh air.  Elevate these moments into the precious treasures they are and you'll see how wealthy you are.
5. If there is a talent you covet, why not try to develop it in yourself? Take lessons or read a book on the subject. Put in the time to practice and learn. All goals start with a plan and a first step. Go ahead and take it!
6. If you continually feel bad about yourself after blog reading, it's time to stop looking at them. Only read the ones that make you feel good about yourself or that leave you feeling inspired or happy. 

As for me, I'm working on tackling some corners of my home I'm unhappy with. I'm also working on elevating the everyday moments that surround me. I'm home with the kiddos all day and it can get crowded, frustrating, and suffocating. But when I take time to notice the little things my life begins to feel so magical.
As for my own blog, this is a space I like to share my struggles and triumphs as they come along. To share the things that we might have in common.  I also am trying to focus on the good things; the little things that shape my days. I don't want to complain all the time; we're surrounded by negativity in the news almost 24-7. I need a space that's mine where I can spread happy thoughts. (don't get me wrong, I like to whine here every now and again...but I whine all day in my REAL life so I try to limit that here, ha!)

Be well everyone! I hope you take some time to remember why YOU are special and celebrate it. Dwell in THAT and enjoy it. I'm trying to do that too.


11 comments :

Julia said...

I LOVE this post and I LOVE your blog! You keep it so real! Thanks for sharing. And this is exactly what I needed to hear!

Lor said...

Great post. I am trying to work on that right now too, note to whine all the time for example...
I also felt unhappy with some spaces in my home, so I decided to start with serious decluttering, then a garage sale this week-end, and it feels great!

val said...

SO TRUE about the outfit and home jealousy - it's all (pretty much) within our control!
Definitely could use the reminder to focus on being grateful and the blessings around, if only to help elevate my mood by the time my husband comes home, instead of taking out my tiredness on him.

Megan said...

@Julia, thanks for reading and for your kind words!
@Lor, I hope you had a great garage sale! Clearing out always feels so refreshing!
@Val, Yes, I use that tool to make it through the day before I explode. LOL

Michelle said...

Great advice!

Megan said...

@Michelle, thanks! :)

Tam said...

These are all of the reasons I read blogs. To inspire myself, be a better Mama, commiserate, sympathize. I unfollow blogs that are overwhelmingly negative or snarky. I love to see beautiful families loving life.

Great post.

Nina said...

Really well said! (Saw this on Twitter by the way. Nice to "meet" you!)

Megan said...

Thanks Nina! Welcome!! :)

Tam said...

I tweeted it the other day :)

Megan said...

Thanks Tam!!! :)

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