Me and Wee: Acceptance: Sometimes Mediocre is Good Enough

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Acceptance: Sometimes Mediocre is Good Enough

Disclaimer: These posts are dedicated to following along with the book "Deliberate Motherhood: 12 Key Powers of Peace, Purpose, Order & Joy," a compilation of essays on motherhood written by authors who contribute to the Power of Moms website. Each month has a different "power" to focus on with the purpose of finding peace, purpose, order and joy in the role of motherhood. I will be writing various posts each month based on that theme. You don't have to have the book to follow along though! January's theme is "Acceptance."

Tough life
^^^Maren the Wonder Dog knows how to loaf^^^

I knew when I planned to have children that I wanted to be the best Mom I could be. I knew that I wanted my kids to have the same kind of childhood I did...magical, fun, full of love...and I was going to be the provider of all this (in my perfect vision). I wanted to be the kind of Mom who gave everything her all. Her very best. And I try! I do.

But, to be honest, there are many MANY days that I'm simply feeling worn out. Taking care of the kiddos full time is exhausting! I just can't be "ON" all of the time. I can't be everything all of the time. That's been a real eye opener for me. 

There are days when I am just so wiped out in the morning that I can barely get out of bed. Those are the kinds of days where I shuffle around in a stupor...wearing my pajamas all day long, never combing my hair, never putting my contacts in. It's even worse when I'm sick (stay at home Moms don't get sick days). I have to rest AND take care of both kids who have lots of energy. These are the days that are long and arduous that leave me feeling spent. I'm not doing my best on those days. And a lot of other days when I'm just plain tired out...I'm less than my best. 

The tv ends up on all day, lunch is some crackers and fruit strewn together, and the kids are in THEIR jammies all day too. I just sort of lay there and can't get out of my funk. So I don't really do anything but the bare minimum. I can even get grouchy and whiny (who, meeee?)

You know what? Sometimes, that's ok. That's what's needed. Why do I beat myself up about these days? Everyone has them! 

We are taught early on that we must always try and do our best. That, if we do our best, then that is good enough. Or, you can feel good as long as you tried hard. 

But, what about the days where you DON'T try? You DON'T do your best? You eat popcorn for dinner and don't do the dishes. You don't read books to the kids and you don't show interest in moving from the couch. You heave heavy sighs when you have to wipe sticky fingers again or vacuum up all those crumbs that weren't there a minute ago. I've decided that those days are part of mothering and part of life for all of us. Our body tells us when we need down time and time to check out. That mediocrity is ok in order to save our sanity.

Stay at home moms don't get vacation time, so I look at these days of mediocrity as just that. Vacation time. And nobody gets hurt. We just get back to things in a day or two, albeit a bit more refreshed than before. 

I've decided that I'm not going to feel sorry for giving it my least effort sometimes. Some days mediocre is good enough. I'm learning to accept that I don't always need to give my best in order to be a good Mom.  It simply means I need to be good to myself and allow myself time to turn it all off and loaf around for the sake of taking time for me. And I think that's a good lesson to teach my kids. Accepting that we can't always give our best allows us to relax and know that we deserve a break now and again. It keeps us from burning out and allows us to really be there for our kids when they need us most. And THAT is what's important. At least, to me anyway. 

What do YOU do to allow yourself a break now and again? Are you giving yourself enough breaks? What could you do to give yourself more "me" time? What if you're taking too many breaks? Do you think you could be doing more? What are some things you'd like to do better?


Anonymous said...

Thank you for this- not enough women talk about how HARD it is. I think back to my commute when I worked and wish I had that 30 minutes alone in a car every day.

A couple times a year I get a hotel room for the night and lay there watching chick flicks for 24 hours. It really helps :)

Talita said...

I don't believe that it is even possible to be our best everyday. I agree too. Cheers

val said...

I love the idea of thinking of those days as vacation days. It mentally removes the guilt from them, and like you said, they are needed sometimes. I don't think I get/take enough breaks right now, but I'm hoping that we can work on that moving forward.

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