11 Months Old

 
Dear Little N,

Oh, my sweet boy. How I love you. I admit, this post is just over a week late. I'm so sorry. On the day you turned 11 months old there was a terrible tragedy less than 2 hours away in Newtown, CT. We have friends from there and it didn't feel right to do anything but pray for those families who lost their precious babies. They are with Jesus now; living the most beautiful eternal life...free from pain or sin. I've cried so many tears for their families who must press on without their most cherished.
Noah, I want you to know that I love you every moment of every single day and night. I treasure every snuggle, every giggle, every tear, every smile, every wiggle that comes from you. You are my gift from God and I'm so thankful He's entrusted you to me; to be your Mom is a blessed calling.
You will be a whole year old soon; the sands of time have slipped through my fingers once again. It's always bittersweet knowing you are growing and flourishing while I mourn your babyhood.

 
This past month you have learned to pull yourself up to stand and cruise around on your wobbly legs. You LOVE pushing the walker-wagon. You've also finally figured out how to crouch down after standing...no more crying while standing up! Ha! You still only have 2 little bottom teeth, but you eat anything and everything that comes your way.



Sadly, you are weaning off the bottle all on your own. You just don't have any interest in it. I'm already missing our close warmth when you drink your milk peacefully as I nuzzle your fuzzy hair. That was one of my very favorite things. I'm sure there will be one or two more chances for it and I'll try to freeze time and take a mental picture as I always do. Every little thing matters Noah. The littlest things are what make up a wonderful life. We must always stop and notice what is happening around us and drink it all in. It's the elixer of Life. The most seemingly mundane moments are where the treasure is hidden. The diaper changes where I get to tickle your tummy and make you laugh. Or the times you are under my feet while I clear out the dishwasher...you take such joy in the silverware! And I get to hear your happy squeals of delight. Even the times you are crying and I get to hold you and wipe the tears away and calm you. You soften in my arms and I teach you that everything can be alright again.
 

Noah, I want you to know I will always love you and be here for you. You can always talk to me and I will honor you and accept you for who you are. I will always do my best to support you, help you, listen to you, and show you that you matter. I will always expect you to do your best and help give you a self-esteem that will take you far in life. I will make sure you work hard, love hard, play hard, and give generously to others. That is my commitment to you and to God.
Please know that my love for you (as it is for your sister) is eternal and as you embark on the last month of your infancy, know that I am proud of you. You are a wonderful person and I'm lucky to be by your side.
I love you always and forever,
Mama

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