Career Dreamin'

Hi friends!
I'm sorry I've been missing in these parts! The family has been sick with an evil virus and we're just coming back to life. That, and the day-to-day life doing Stay at Home Mom things has been hectic and exhausting. (What else is new, right?)
In truth, lately I've been missing my work life. My creative life. I find myself trolling blogs, pinterest, and Etsy admiring the work of others and how I'd love to get back into making art again. Before I had the kiddos I had a decent business creating wedding invitations and letterpressed goods for clients; as well as letterpressed stationery in my online store. Since I'm staying a home with the kids, I simply do not have any time anymore for a career. At least, not now anyway. After a long day of mothering, I collapse into bed at night exhausted. I just don't have it in me to sit down and commence a second job after the kids have gone to bed. I need a break too!
Child care is very expensive and I wasn't making enough money to cover it. The nature of my work doesn't really allow me to work for 10 minutes and stop...which is also the nature of mothering young children. Working at home without help is out of the question. Add in the challenges of a special-needs child and forget it! I've resolved to wait until my children are in school full-time to pursue a full-time business again.
But, I want to get creative again. I've been thinking about the goals I have for the future and what it is I really want to be doing professionally. My dream? To have an online shop where I sell whimsical art prints, original art, stationery, and other goods from illustrations I create myself.  I want it to be a cohesive brand...a line of recognizable work. I want to make a decent living off making art that people enjoy. To do that, I'd like to spend my nuggets of free time (they DO happen on occasion) on developing my own personal artistic illustrative style. I'm going to experiment with my art and try lots of new things and see what I like best. I have a hundred ideas swimming in my head; and they are desperate to come out. Now, to find the time to do it! That's the challenge for most SAHMs right?  I think my blog here will be a good place to share my progress and hold myself accountable. Perhaps I can share snippets of my work with you? Share what I'm thinking? I'm willing to bet there's lots of other people out there who are also sitting on a dream and wondering when the time will be right. I figure I may as well start now; that way, when the time IS right I can act on it.
I started a painting months and months ago (it's the image I posted above); long before Noah was born. I finally found a few extra minutes today to finish it. It's nothing fancy, but I'm proud I finally created something!  What do you think? I don't know what the future holds, but I do know it feels good to create again. To experience that old familiar excitement in my stomach when I'm making something I like or have an idea I love. There's a rush of energy that comes with it that feeds my soul. It reminds me that I'm a person too.
Feel free to share your dream or wish here! Sometimes putting down into words can help make it come to life.

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Love to My Dad

Dad, Happy Father's Day! I hope you don't mind that I highjacked Facebook photos of you.
Folks, my Dad is awesome. He always played catch with me. He taught me 5-card poker as a little kid. He took me fishing with him whenever I asked. He even trusted me with an X-Acto whittling knife when I was 7. When I did cut myself, he made me wait until I was at least 9 until I got the knife back. LOL!!! He used to let me jump off his shoulders into the lake (over and over again at that). He helped me learn to ride a bike. He always listened to me when I shared stories about school. I remember taking turns reading "Heidi" aloud with him. (what a guy!) He used to let me cuddle up on his lap and I'd fall asleep on his shoulder in the rocking chair...usually on Sunday nights when he watched "60 Minutes." The sound of the stopwatch still makes me yawn. Being a Mom now, I understand why he cried for me when I broke my toe (awww). When I got older, he'd take me shopping for clothes; knowing I needed encouragement to come out of my shell a bit. I'll never forget when he took me shopping for my Prom dress. It was so sweet. And later on in life, he came with my Mom to help me find my wedding dress. He just didn't want to miss a moment, even if it was one that wasn't traditionally men would want to be part of. He's a tough guy, a strong guy, a silly guy, a very social guy who is the first to talk to all the strangers in the room and make lame jokes. That's what I love most about my Dad. He's never been shy to be himself. He's unapologetic about his idiosyncrasies; nor should he be. I'm very proud of him for that, and for many other things. He's lead a very colorful life filled with interesting stories; many I still haven't heard. I never tire of them. His boyhood days living in a little tenement apartment, his time doing his part fighting for our country in Vietnam, his crazy times in Boston after the war, when he met my Mom and so forth. (As a funny story example...Dad one day informed me that if I was ever taken prisoner I should take my sock off, fill it with sand, and pee on it to make a billy club. Then, I was to beat my captor in the head with it...and when he was down, kill him by jamming a pencil through his ear into his brain. I guess this was a tip he learned in the Army if he were taken as a POW and figured I should know about it just in case. I always wondered who carries a pencil around with them so diligently? But that's the kind of random information he liked to share with us and I now mull over.)
My father has always made me feel so special and important; he always listened to my every problem (no matter how lame or large) and offered his most caring and sincere advice. Even to this day he lends an unconditional ear and helps keep me on track. Dad, thank you for being YOU. Not only did you teach me about what makes a great father, you taught me what makes a great man. Because of you, I found that in Chris. Your never ending love and support will always live in my heart and now my own chidren's hearts too. I am forever grateful for you, but moreso, forever will I love you.
Happiest Father's Day to you.
Love,
Meg (or "The Mega-Muffin" as you've always called me)

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5 Months

Dear Little N,
Yesterday you turned 5 months old. Along with this mini birthday came your first illness...sores all in the back of your throat. You scream and cry and stick out your lip. You haven't slept much and neither have your Dad or me. I'm so sorry you are so sick. The good news is that this is just a virus and should go away rather quickly (in a few days). I didn't know why you were screaming or had a fever; we were told it was likely teething. But my "Mommy-Sense" knew better and I brought you in for further inspection where the doctor found the sores in your throat using a bright light and a tongue depressor. Anyway, you don't like to eat right now. I understand since it hurts when you swallow! Poor little fella!
That bad news aside, you've accomplished a lot this past month. You've learned to roll over from your back to your tummy, you've gotten a real hang of grasping objects (even ripping my hair out at the roots...sweet!), and enjoyed all your Jumperoo has to offer. I don't know of anyone more gleeful than you in the Jumperoo. I have to remember to limit your time in there; I think you'd jump all day if I let you.
This past weekend you were baptized. You know that I'm not Catholic but your Dad is. Paige is too; so now you are on that same track. I hope you will find comfort in your faith the way I always have. God loves you no matter what; He made you perfect as you are. Always remember that you are a masterpiece. (God's and mine...hee hee) Treat yourself as such, but remember to be humble. As MY Mom always taught me: "It's nice to be important; but it's more important to be nice." Another thing I'd like you to remember about your faith is that you don't have to do anything to be a winner in God's eyes. Come as you are. Know that God wants you to be successful and bless you as long as you do your part. I like to tell God that I know He's supposed to love you most, but I don't see how anyone could love you more than me. We joke like that. Anyway, I'll do another post about your baptism, but had to mention it here since it happened this past month!
Noah, you are such a treasure to behold each day. You wake up so happy; you gurgle and coo while you wait for me to come get you out of your crib. When I walk in, you look up at me owlishly and give me a huge grin. My heart then melts in a puddle. You are such a happy guy; always smiling and cooing the day away. You are so easy-going; I can take you anywhere and you won't complain! I don't want to jinx it, but you are Mr. Cooperative. You almost NEVER cry or fuss (sometimes I wonder what is up with that?). You've even started sleeping through the night completely (*angels singing here*) I count my lucky stars, believe me.  Not a day goes by where I'm not expressing my thanks for you in some way. You have such a gentle and sweet nature; I often feel like pinching myself when I think about how wonderful life is with you in it. It seemed so wonderful before, but now there is yet another glorious layer of goodness, texture, love, and light. You enrich my life and soothe my soul. Thank you for being my angel from heaven. An angel with the cutest chubby thighs and cheeks that I want to bite.
Love always and forever,
Mama

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Maren the Wonder-Dog

Maren wants attention too. She was telling me that she feels shoved aside since the kids came along. Probably true. So, I told her I'd take her picture and put it on the blog. She told me to take 2 pictures. She then proceeded to give me her best poses and here they are for you. Happy now, Maren? Diva.

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Enjoy

This is an older picture now, but I just love this tender moment where Paige really wanted to "read" to her little brother. They were alone together in the family room and I had to get all camera crazy and interrupt. Hey, it's what I do.

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Time to Enjoy

Lately, when things have gotten chaotic around here I notice that I get very snappy and annoyed at the kids. I start to sweat the small stuff when I know better. It's easy to slip into that negative mode, isn't it? When the days can wear you down and you just want a break or breather. A little more space to enjoy. I want to enjoy my kids while they are little. I want to sit down to a meal and not yell through half of it over one thing or another.
When we choose to let certain things go; to decide they are not really a big deal after all, a space for joy opens up. For a little while, dinner time had started to become a real pain. Paige would whine and fuss about her food, or she'd take an hour to eat (and only pick at her food), or she'd just not eat and would complain instead. I was constantly on her case..."you need to eat!" "a few more bites!" "Hurry it up, dinner is almost over!" "Paige! Stop playing with your elbow and eat!" "Do you hear me?" "Are you listening?"  and so forth.
I finally decided that I want to enjoy my meals and stop getting stomach aches during dinner. So, I made the choice to stop caring whether Paige ate her dinner or not. I had to act like I could care less. And you know what? I started having more fun at dinner and it became enjoyable again. If she didn't eat, she just ate a bigger breakfast the next morning. By not nagging, she began to stop complaining and whining as much and it makes dinner time so much more enjoyable. It can be easy to nag, nag, nag and I have to catch myself often. But it's worth it to just "let it go." I want to enjoy our time together; to savor the little moments .
We now all eat dinner together in peace. Paige will say funny things or she will answer our questions about preschool that day. We laugh together and she's learning all about proper table manners. Even Noah is now sitting with us in his high chair, even if he's not eating. He'll check out his toys and he seems to enjoy just being with us. It's nice. I'm glad I gave up the food battle. Ironically, she eats better now. Of course.





There are other ways in our lives with little ones that we could perhaps let things go a bit for the sake of our stress levels...for example: potty training struggles (we aren't pressing it), toy cleanup issues (we only leave some out, and the rest are easy for her to clean thanks to baskets), mess-making (we only do messy activities under close supervision when she can get my full attention), etc. Even without children, there are always areas of life where we can choose joy over fretting.  Is there an area in your life that would be much happier and simpler if you just "let go?" Stop asking "Why do I do this to myself?" and just stop. You'll be glad you did!

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Lights on

We've lived in our house for almost exactly 7 years and haven't done anything yet to make it "ours." The house was only 2 years old when we bought it and all the choices and window treatments are from the previous owners. We're finally getting around to making some changes around here, so as we go ahead I'll be sure to show you some before and afters.
 
I hated these brass-colored candle light fixture thingies over the mantle. Barf. They are fine for someone else; just not for me. (Don't you also love all the random crap we threw on the mantle? It's mostly sticker books that I don't want Paige going nutzo with when I'm not looking.)

So, we got some polished nickel sconces at Home Depot for about 40 bucks apiece and Chris installed them pretty quickly. They are also on a dimmer switch which is nice to still have. Ahh, much better. I need to find a new big thing to put on our mantle. I'm not loving the painting anymore. Hmmm. I welcome your thoughts on that...I'm looking for something large, more interesting and more meaningful.

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Firsts

Last week, Noah got his first taste of solids (Rice Cereal to be exact). It's more for him to practice using his mouth with a spoon and swallowing than it is to taste the food. It's pretty gross and I don't blame him for his lack of excitement over the whole thing! He's to try it once per day for the next little while as he gets the hang of it. Maybe I'll try to feed him something a little bit tastier; I feel bad for the fella.


On Sunday, Noah also had another first: Rolling over from his back to belly! He's been trying for a while now, but he finally got it! And I got the camera just in time to catch the finish of his big roll. I didn't think he'd be able to do it; and then there he was looking up at me! So, 2 more firsts are checked off as he grows. sigh. I wish I could keep you little, my little snuggle bear.

Right when he finished the roll

Ma, did you totally just see that?

I'm awesome!

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On Stay-at-home Motherhood and Positivity

Hi friends!
The past several months have been so heart-warming and wonderful. Alternately, there have been many challenging moments filled with frustration and exhaustion. Being a stay-at-home mother to a three-year-old and an infant can be a physical and emotional tornado (as most people can understand). Being home all day, without the trappings of "water-cooler chat" at the office or lunch breaks with fun co-workers can be very isolating and lonely. Your sense of autonomy is easily vanquished and you start to forget the last time you had a funny conversation with a friend or came up with your own witty tidbits to make a peer laugh. It's easy to get tired and fall into a bit of a slump. But, in times like this, I take heart knowing that I am living up to my potential as best I can in this role I've been blessed with. Sometimes things aren't always how I want them or would like them to be but I know I am fulfilling my duties in this season of my life with as much humor, wit, and graciousness as I can. I am grateful. I am honored. When days are long and I'm feeling sloppy (and it's day 4 or wearing some version of sweatpants and a formula-dribbled t-shirt) I like to remind myself about staying positive and grateful. A trick I use? I tell myself "I get to." For example, instead of saying "I have to get up and feed the baby," I say "I GET to get up and feed the baby." It works on many levels and conditions and ALWAYS forces me to turn things around by adding more spring to my step.
I have to go to the grocery store......I GET to go to the grocery store
I have to clean the kitchen...............I GET to clean the kitchen
I have to change the diaper..............I GET to change the diaper
I have to go to work.........................I GET to go to work (for those that do)
I have to make lunch for the kids....I GET to make lunch for the kids

It's a simple little trick that doesn't seem like much, but makes a big impact when it's practiced. I'm no expert at it yet, but I'm trying and I believe it will become second nature before long. See how it can change your day; see if it doesn't give you just a little lift too.

Here's a tender moment of Paige shampooing her brother's hair. One of life's rewarding moments to witness.

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Sleepy-do

Paige likes to sleep against hard things. Who wouldn't want to snuggle against some cozy plastic dinosaurs and a rubber hermit crab? Who?

(here, she passed out on the couch after a major tantrum...it was good times.)

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Paging Dr. Carty!

Paige's new doctor kit is getting its paces.

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Treasured Moment

Paige had her first toe-nail painting session. Of course, she wanted blue. I was happy to oblige.

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Mother's Day activities

I wanted to tell you about our Mother's Day! Chris took all Noah's feedings during the night and day. I got to sleep in until 8:30 in the morning! Heaven! Then, the fam brought me breakfast in bed. Heaven 2.0! After some fun gift time, we went over to a local farm/hiking place and saw some animals. And then, we headed over to the local ice cream mecca and enjoyed some treats and Paige had her very first pony ride. Follow all that up with me having time to myself in the afternoon and it was a perfect day! Score! I hope all you who plan to be Moms, are pregnant, or already ARE Moms had a great Mother's Day.  I know I did!

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4 Months

Dear Little N,

Today you are 4 months old. As you may know, I have not tired of snuggling your squishy chubby little body. I'm addicted to you and your smiles and coos. I cannot get enough! You continue to be a beacon of complete peace and contentment. You are so happy to sit with us and smile. What more is there? You are always game to go anywhere; as long as you have a comfy place to sit and watch the happenings. You also continue to sleep well at night; usually waking once to eat. You never fuss or cry or complain about things...where did this personality come from? Not from me, that's for sure! I guess you're more like your Dad even though you look a lot like me.
A new thing that has happened this month--you have started laughing. You burst into laughter whenever we tickle you or even just take your shirt off. Such a ticklish little fella! Today, a gust of wind came up and you laughed even at that. You smile pretty much all the time. What fun it is.
You really remind me of life's small joys. It's easy to get caught up in the day to day grind; you've reminded me that it's important to put the focus back on the blessings of the simple and small. Thank you for that! I love you more than life, my precious boy.
Now come gimme another snuggle!
Love you always and forever,
Mama
*update* You were 26.5 inches long at your 4 month checkup. You weighed 17 lbs, 13 oz. 95th and 91st percentile! You're a big healthy boy, that's for sure. No wonder my back hurts! :)






 

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Mother's Day 2012

Dear kiddos,

Today is Mother's Day and I wanted to take this chance to tell you that it's been such an honor to mother you. Being with you is my greatest joy. Watching you thrive has been and will continue to be my life's greatest achievement. I love you both more than anything...that love knows no bounds and will stretch into eternity. They say that nothing lasts forever; but my love knows differently.
I love you always,
Mama

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Preschool!

Yesterday was a huge milestone for Paige--her first day of preschool!
And it went excellently. We'd prepared her for a few weeks; letting her know that she'd "go on the bus by herself" and head off to preschool to meet her teacher who'd be waiting at the bus area. We got to go in last week to meet her teacher and play in the class for an hour. That really helped her know what to expect and got her very excited to go back. (I loved it there! And her teacher is so awesome!) So, yesterday, once she got her coat and backpack on she was psyched to go! She ran right up onto the bus and the driver strapped her into the carseat. I told her to have a great day and I would see her very soon when the bus brought her back. She said "bye bye Mammeeee! See you soon!" I ran up to the porch and watched the bus back out of the driveway as she stared out the window at me. I waved and blew her a kiss through tears while she started to wave back.
I don't really know what happened at school since she can't quite articulate all the activities of the day yet, but she seemed bright and happy when she got home. We then had lunch and she had her nap...a looooong nap. Her teacher called me right away in the morning to let me know she got in ok and that she'd settled right in to the day's activities without a problem. Phew! Looks like we're in for a successful school time!
It was hard to say goodbye to my baby and send her off on the bus, but I'm also very happy for her. She's having quite the adventure! And I got some time in the morning to get chores done (and have a slice of leisure time while Noah napped).
She will go 4 days per week (Mon-Thurs) all mornings. 2 of the days will be the full class and 2 of the days will be spent in a small class setting so she can work on social skills and such. I have to get used to having her gone for half of the day; it's too soon! It's too soon!!!! sigh

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Three!

Enjoying the Birthday song and ready to blow out the candles! (You got them all in one puff!)

Dear Little P,
My little darling, on Saturday you turned three! It seems like yesterday you were a soft squishy new baby in my awkward arms. And now you are running, jumping, laughing and joking. You are a marvel!
Paige, you are so energetic and inventive. You always make up a new fantasy world to play in--whether we are flying in helicopters to "jungle supper" (Rainforest Cafe) or hiding from the "happy volcano."
You are so sweet, polite, and gentle--I've never seen you exhibit one iota of malice toward anyone. You are just so cheerful and always up to try anything. Especially if it looks daring, adventurous and fun.
This past year you have really blossomed into all you can be. You've made beautiful progress in your speech and sensory issues. One would never know you'd struggled! You're quite the chatterbox now.
You're smart as a whip...you know all your letters and you can recognize them all by sight and you know every sound. You can tell us the beginning letter of any word we give you. You also know your numbers (one through fourteen) and you can identify them and even do subtraction. I don't know how you picked up on it! You just seem to absorb anything you see. You have an amazing memory--lucky duck--and I believe it will serve you well. You have a special talent for putting puzzles together. You can bang out a 25 piece or more puzzle like it's nothing! I'll try to do a puzzle with you, but you always end up having to help me. Ha!
Paige, being your Mama is such an honor and a blessing. You are truly a  joy to be with and an overall wonderful person. Your cheerful smile and sunny outlook make my days complete. One hug from you can set my racing heart at ease.
You became a big sister to Noah this year. I've been proud to watch you be so loving, gentle and caring toward your brother. You've never been jealous or mean. You always seem so happy to see him and give him a kiss. He's lucky to have such a doting big sister!
I'm so proud of all the hard work you've done this year and am excited for all the fun things that are next. You started preschool today and I can tell you love it; so I'll do the next post about that. Preschool is only one exciting new adventure...many more are to come!
I want you to know that you are my shining star and always will be. You're a wonderful daughter, sister and friend. May this year bring you much joy and wonder. Thank you for being you---you make my every day all the more special because of that. I love you always and forever.
Happy third birthday Paigie.
I love you,
Mama

Proof that I was at the party

Nana and Grampa gave you some cool dino toys

We had your party at Jam Time and cousin M loved the dollhouse!

You got your arm painted with a frog and the other arm got a dinosaur

Grammie got in the ball pit with you and cousin C while a friend played too

The Farm toy set is always a hit!

Nana and Grampa came too...and hung out with baby Noah

The toy train and table hockey are always fun

Guests enjoyed fun stuff to do

J.T. the Moose visited you. This is as close as you got.

Cupcakes!

Yummy!

Out of steam!

 

We got you a tricycle. You still can't pedal it yet, but you'll come around!

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