I got the most ridiculous comment in my "My Middle Finger" post the other day here on this blog. Lovely "Anonymous" added these helpful words:
"Yet you refused to breast feed? go figure."
Talk about having NOTHING to do with what I'd said. But, I'd like to take a minute to add people like you to my FUCK YOU list. I can do that, since this is MY BLOG.
LET ME BE CLEAR: I LOVE BREASTFEEDERS. Well, not literally ALL I guess. I love many of my friends and family who breastfed. And I love the ones that didn't or couldn't. This post is not about the benefits of either decision.
This post is about crappy and jerky people who assume the wrong things and then try to put you down for your own supposed personal choices anyway.
To anonymous and all who say shitty things like that: You know NOTHING about my health or my medical history. You have NO IDEA. To say I refused to breastfeed when you don't know even half the story is uneducated at best. What is worse is that you try and hurt me and insinuate something about my character. SCREW YOU. And the next time you want to say words like that to someone about breastfeeding please think about this: Perhaps they've had a mastectomy and couldn't? Perhaps they are battling cancer and couldn't? Perhaps they had a horrible accident and couldn't? Perhaps they simply weren't producing milk? Perhaps it's NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!!!
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13 comments :
Meg,
There's no reason to even acknowledge such an ignorant comment. You're an AMAZING mother who has made every choice for Paige's best interest. Knowing your health history I know your reasons for not breastfeeding. I also know that even despite that health issue you still were considering impacting your health but in the end knew the best for Paige was to be at full health to give her your best care each day.
The good thing about anonymous comments is that they should be easily ignored. If the anonymous critics cared to know the facts behind their arguments they wouldn't be anonymous and would be willing to leave a name and confront an issue head with a constructive dialog.
You've had a lot of courage sharing our personal struggles and triumphs in your blog to give those with similar fertility issues compassion for what they are going through. Now you're sharing hope for them in sharing what you learn with each day spent with our wonderful daughter.
Paige is healthy, beautiful and exceeding her milestones at each Doctors visit. Whatever her food source she is doing great!
I care most that Paige is healthy, happy, and loved and I see that every day in her face because of your great care. She will grow to be a great person like you who would never judge another or criticize them without first getting to know the truth.
Love you!
Chris
Bravo Megan! Well said! I loved your 'rant' the other day, and agree whole-heartedly.
I felt that I could not let your current post go without showing some support. Whether to breastfeed is a personal choice, and no one's business but the mother's. I, too, am sick of people weighing in on my choice as if it's their business.
I read your blog regularly; your love for Paige and the joy that you take in motherhood comes across so clearly. Please continue to voice and stand up for your opinions and choices--you're a breath of fresh air.
I missed the shitty comment. So sorry that happened to you. That's a sad little person who grabs at something so vapid to try putting you down. Fuck 'em is right!
I hope writing down was cathartic for you. But Chris is right, this person is not worth a moment more of your mental energy. Trust yourself and know that what you put out there in the world, your family and your work, is blessed.
Have a good week, girlie! xoxo
Megan,
I can't believe someone would write such a thing. It shows real cowardice to say something like that anonymously. You don't have to justify your actions to anyone. You're doing a great job being Paige's mom, and from all I've read she is healthy and thriving. And please, my grandmother didn't breastfeed my mom or either of my uncles because it just wasn't done then. My mom and her brothers are all healthy adults. Formula is totally healthy. My co-worker was unable to breastfeed because of medical issues, and her baby hasn't been sick a day in her life!
I am breastfeeding, but now that I'm back at work and not able to pump enough, my daycare lady supplements with formula. And I got JUDGED about that too (in a comment on my blog!), as if it was some failure on my part! What's wrong with people?
Anyway, your husband is completely right and so sweet. Just ignore this person. You're a great mother and that shines through in each post.
Megan,
That is bullshit! I was SO sad when I couldn't breastfeed, but after two appointments with the lactation specialist and two appointments with a breastfeeding doctor, my baby still refused to latch on. Guess what? 6 months later she is health and happy and even my pediatrcian said that people are way too obsessed with breastfeeding. Anyway, if I could just take this opportunity as a reader of your blog to tell "Anonymous" to FUCK OFF. Megan, you are rocking. It is obvious that you love and cherish little Paige. You are doing a great job and I am upset that you had to deal with this.
Best regards,
Megan D
Seattle
I found your blog after seeing your nursery on ohdeedoh and I've kept reading because I've been drawn to your outlook on life and the way you put it into words. I'm inspired by your love for beauty and family. Your rant the other day made me laugh when I found myself cooking dinner and unable to figure out whether or not to rinse the damn chicken. I'm sorry about the nastiness that ensued...I thought your post was hilarious. Anyway, the best thing you can give your little peanut is love, and it is clear that she gets that in abundance. I hope that when my turn comes, I can be as loving, thoughtful, giving, and caring a mother as you have been to your little one.
Megan,
I've been following your blog now for almost a year silently, reading and appreciating. I've never written to you before so first of all CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your daughter! I think it takes a great amount of courage and openness to write about one's life candidly the way you do so congratulations for that too!
In following your blog you have made me feel "normal" and less isolated as a new mother. I have no family nearby and find it comforting to know that there is someone else out there going through same/similar trials and tribulations of motherhood as me.
Whether you realize it or not, your blog touches hundreds, maybe thousands of people on a regular basis and I am not surprised by the anonymous comment. It's kinda like you can't please all of the people all of the time and I understand how frustrating it is to have a judgement like that shoved at you from a total stranger who is on the outside looking in.
I breast feed my baby and he is healthy and doing well and you know what? If I had to do it over again I don't know if I would pick this choice again because of the impact it has on my life overall. I dare not say that out in the open to anybody though. Why? Fear of judgement that I am selfish and lazy. In my opinion choosing to carefully and lovingly raise a child in this world is about the most self-less thing you can do. It's all perspective I suppose.
One of my FB friends' status updates today that I thought was interesting says" 1% situation, 99% perception." So true...
Keep up the good work and I think you are doing a terrific job with the juggle of motherhood. You look well, you're family looks well and most importantly your little girl is happy and healthy! Isn't that WAAAY better than some ignorant anonymous comment? Indeed.
-Christina from California
Just wanted to lend my support as well- as someone who choose to breastfeed and was told by my mother-in-law "Why would you do that? It's disgusting"
You can't win...
Hi Megan,
Love you, Megan! Don't let one sad and miserable person ruin it for the rest of us. Please continue to share your stories, your creativity and you insight with us.
Thank you for being you and letting us be a fly on your wall. I am completely inspired by you.
Gabriela
Even though I feel a bit stalker-ish at times, I've been following your blog off and on since I saw your nursery on Ohdeedoh and loved it.
I just wanted to say that you are not alone. I, too, have been criticized for feeding my baby from a bottle. Unfortunately, it has always been by other mothers who know nothing of the reasons for it. We women can be our own worse enemies. Every time I get a comment or look I try to tell myself it doesn't matter. My son is healthy and thriving and - also important - so is his mother. Eff those bitches.
Stephanie from Ontario, Canada
Breastfeeding was not easy for me either, I had appointments with a specialist (she was a wonderful person!!) which suggested after a few days that I switched for a mix of breastfeeding/bottle. It went on until Violette was 3 and a half months and sometimes I had to do with some people's judgement too... I just can't believe why breastfeeding cannot remain an INTIMATE question as it should be. It's amazing that people think they can just come to you and judge you on how you give milk to your child. Would they also comment how you make love to your husband??? No, and isn't it as intimate? I just don't get it...
Lor, I totally agree. It's just rude, inappropriate and very unclassy for strangers to even inquire or comment.
I wanted to add too that when breastfeeding your baby gets what you eat. So guess, what if you are eating bad things so is your baby. So her rude comment didn't even make sense! Crazy people out there with no right to be mean or judge when they do not know the facts.
:-) Heather
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